A bit confused, question

Hi I am new here.

Basically, my partner has 2 children from a previous relationship. He is paying support, and sees them on a regular basis. However, their mother is moving them 3 hours away to live with her and her new partner. They have also just had a baby. One child is adament they want to live with us, and the other has expressed that they would want to too.

My question is about the support we would receive from their mother. I have looked on the CSAs website and cannot find anything on it. When she moves, she will not be working and becoming a stay at home mum to the new baby and the other two, if they go. Her partner however is a high earner. Now if the two children were to live with us, would support to calculated on household income or just her income, because she won't have any as such? Would it be easier to just say you pay us what we were paying you, or would it go on the whole income, which would end up being considerably more than we pay.

Thank you!

How old are the children?

If she has no income, she won't have to pay maintenance. I'm not sure why you would expect her partner to support her children?

Welcome to Wikivorce.

Only the parents are responsible for paying CM. New partners/spouses are not responsible, and their income isn't taken into consideration.

So, if the children did live with their Dad - the CSA would make a calculation based on the Mum's income, which is nil, and would most likely result in a Nil Assessment. If she were working, there would be a reduction/variation as there is another child living in her household.

How old are the children, and is the Mum aware they have expressed an interest in living with you and their Dad?

They are 7 and almost 10. And yes, their Mum does know. They have told her several times they don't want to move. The younger has told her that she wants to live here instead.

mumtoboys - The reason I ask is because, when my parents separated, my Dad paid maintenance based on the income of his household. This included his partners income. I remember because it caused a lot of arguments as it made the amount he had to pay almost double.

She will definitely not be working, she has given up work as her partner is a high earner, so will be supporting her.

Your dad obviously wanted what was best for you, so good for him and his new partner for dealing with it in that way. If the issue was forced through the CSA, they wouldn't take household income into account, however. Is your income taken into account now that your partner is paying maintenance (I'm assuming you live together which of course, you may not)?

The children are quite young to be making decisions about staying rather than moving. Is mum in agreement with the children staying with you? How often do you and your partner have them overnight? I suspect if mum isn't in agreement, you would have an uphill battle through the court system to get them to stay with you.

My income is not taken into account, as when the original agreement was made, we were not together. We do live together now.

I agree they are quite young to be making the decisions. Its very difficult to be honest. They are going somewhere they have never even been to visit, and the moving date is in 6 weeks. They are both quite unsettled about going (which is understandable). There is nothing for them there apart from Mums new partner. The younger has said for the past 6 months she isn't going and no one can make her. They have not been involved in the decision at all. They haven't even seen the house they are living in.

We have them every other weekend, and one day a week. The do enjoy being here and I know would be happy to live here. I understand what you are saying about Mum not wanting them to live here, but they are not babies either, and I think would resent not being allowed to make the choice.

It's a hard one. They are of an age where they understand to an extent but I am not sure they're old enough to grasp that if they stay with you, they will not be seeing mum and new baby brother/sister? very often at all. Even if they do seem to understand that, the reality of it actually happening maybe harder for them than they anticipated. Equally, not seeing dad every week will also be a difficult adjustment for them. Rights and wrongs both ways, I guess.

To be fair on new houses, I didn't take my children to see houses when I was looking and they didn't get a choice in the matter. They wouldn't have chosen the one I chose, I know that, but that doesn't make it the 'wrong' one as it works for us as a family into the long term from a schooling perspective and everyone having their own bedrooms, access to public transport, shops, parks etc.

Has your partner been involved at all in discussions about moving? has he got contact sorted at that distance? has he been involved with sorting a new school?