What exactly should my ex pay?

Hi, I was wondering if my ex should be paying towards anything else for the kids if he is paying CM.

He has the 3 kids 175 (in real life 165 but I'm fed up arguing) days a year so he pays the minimum CSA. He gave me a calender when we split up showing which days in the year he was having them and I have no say in it.

He has told me that I have to provide all the clothes for the kids so swimming costume, school clothes, brownie uniforms etc I have to buy double of so there are some at each house.
I have to pay for all the kids hobbies. If he has the kids the day when they are doing them (he has them different days every week) I have to give him the money to pay for them otherwise he won't take them. These are hobbies they had before we split up and are not cheap I pay over £150 a month.
We also saved money for the kids in savings accounts for when they are older. Now I am the only one to put in to them he refuses to.

He earns sustantially more than me in his job about £40k a year compared to my £9.5k and claims he is broke. I get £190 CM from him a month. I just wondered should he be paying for any of the above. He said he doesn't have to.

He doesn't HAVE to. But that isn't to say he shouldn't!! But your problem will be how to actually force him to do so.

I gave up with mine. Like you he earns a lot more than me and occasionally he will buy the odd pair of jeans etc.

You shouldn't be buying two sets of school uniform and brownie gear etc - why can't they take the original clothes with them and return with them?

As to hobbies I feel if they are that expensive and difficult for you to manage perhaps you should think again?

I have learnt to grin and bear so much over the last three years but with time comes acceptance. You can't change these B

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ds!!

Have you been through Ancillary Relief yet? If not, you might want to ask for spouse maintenance on that pay differential.

best wishes,
Sadie

My ex doesn't pay for anything, and I mean nothing at all! I don't get maintenance from him (CSA reckon he gets less than £5 a week to live on!) and he doesn't buy anthing for my daughter either. She got nothing for Christmas, nothing for Easter, and it's her birthday in two weeks, and I can guarantee she will get nothing for that either! He is always promising her things, and never actually comes through with that promise. He doesn't get to see her on his own, its supervised by me, but he has never brought things with him, to either entertain her or feed her. It has always been me.

He gave you a calendar and you have no say in it?

Only because you allow that. Agree a proper schedule of who is having kids and when on a structured basis, eg every Tuesday at dads every Wednesday at yours. Everyone knows where they stand then rather than one dictating to clock up the nights and reduce the payments.

Alternatively give him his calendar back with an extra 8 nights on it that suit you and tell him he is the main carer now, you'll pay him CSA rate on your wage and he can get himself down the uniform shop to buy two of everything!

Based on previous replies...I think I'm the mug...

I have a 50-50 arrangement with my ex, although overall they spend more time with me as she often asks me to have them extra days. She holds the child benefit books, receives tax credits and I pay her child maintenance based on CSA calculation + a bit more.

Yet... I pay for the vast majority of stuff for the kids, because she just won't. She'd rather send them to school in raggedy clothes, and I can't just let that happen.

I could apply for child benefit/tax credits/child maintenance from her - as I do have them the majority of the time, but ultimately that'd remove a huge chunk of income from my ex, to the point where she couldn't afford to live, and so it wouldn't be fair on the kids.... so the current arrangement continues!

Ive just worked out for you, even on the maxiumum CSA discount, you should be getting £75 per week for your 3 children = £300 four weekly.

Check it out - CSA calculator