Maintence Versus Level of Contact

Just read my post back and my spelling is awful!!
I dont normally write like that, I'm just very upset!

Hi Bergy, don't worry about the spelling, I'm not surprised you're upset! Yes, you did play into her hands but if she has done nothing about it yet (ie. called the police) then I'd just put this down to experience. In a court it will be your word against hers, and judges understand that sometimes emotions run high. The main thing is to make sure you don't fall for this one again, she's clearly being as awkward as she can.
With regards the Clean Break - her consent is ideal but if she doesn't agree, and the courts think it is fair, then one will be forced upon her. I would say that judging by her income without benefits and CM, which must add about another £1k to her monthly income, she wouldn't stand a chance of SM and you could easily get a clean break as there is no mortgage to worry about. I also wouldn't worry too much about what your partner brings to the pot - she also has a partner so if she plays that card then they will cancel each other out. Your partner's finances are hers alone, only the costs that you share will be looked at in any detail. So her existing property is fine if its just in her name, its just rent and bills that would be scrutinised!
The living arrangements have been sorted, courts are happy with rental or mortgaged so long as the home is suitable.
If you would like (some more) advice on your situation by another old hand ...... apply in your contact order for collection from the childminder. State that the relationship between you and your ex is difficult and this impacts on the kids, also that picking up from the childminder allows you to play an equal role in their upbringing. Text your ex and say that, given what happened yesterday, you are unwilling to collect kids from her home and will continue to collect from childminder. If she insists on collection from home, take a 3rd party.
Contact your ex to know that you are finding direct contact with her to be unpleasant and bordering on harassment. Request no direct contact, even on handover, other than to discuss kids. That way, if she does continue to malign you in front of the kids or ask for money, you will have evidence to ask for a harassment warning against her.
Don't worry too much about what she say to the kids, yes its upsetting but the kids will probably be very fed-up with her being rude about daddy. Oh, and CONTACT THE CSA!!!!

I have been in a similar position to yourself that I paid 20% of my income and deducted the actual cost to me of the childcare vouchers and paid for extras.

Initially I never deducted the 2/7 for the 150 nights a year they stayed with me but after paying about £1500 a year for extras and being told they never saw any of the overtime I worked (despite me factoring it in)I decided to deduct 2/7.

Ex feeling hard done by decided to get the CSA involved who said to pay £100 a month less so that's what they get.

I maintained I couldn't afford a solicitor and applied for Ancillary relief self representing. I have saved approx £4500 for first two stages but now using a solicitor for the negotiation part.

Interestingly ex used Solicitor (£10,000 they claim) for Divorce proceeding and up to First hearing of AR and now has no Solicitor for negotiations :-)bad planning perhaps??

Ex doesn't respond to communications but slowly being dragged into line by the court.

I paid the fee for the contact order and incurred no extra expenses on Solicitors to get alternate weekend Contact and Tea after school every Wed.

Usually when I pick them up its direct from school and similarly whenever its from the house as in the holidays there is invariably conflict.

Whenever I feel I am being flexible by agreeing to variations in the Contact Order it leads to conflict so I insist on keeping to the Order.

I have had the they don't want to come for contact and I'm not going to make them story too and yes I tell them they have to go back when they say that to me too!

We've both attended a Parenting Information Programme as ordered by the court but hasn't changed a thing!

Now I have a new partner everything is even worse after 4 yrs for flips sake!

fedup2ndwife makes a lot of sense!

text messages make things worse but the door is shut, the phone is put down, registered mail refused and e-mails ignored So I put up with texts (9 today and a rare answer machine message Woohoo and they still not taking son out tomorrow unless I give them £10 /
Not sure I have helped you but might have helped me?
Dd