Self employed so CSA says tuff!

My stbx had been paying a mutually agreed amount of child support until about 6 months ago. He said he stopped because he needs the money for his business which in his opinion will bring in more money in the future so he''s "doing it for the kids". In the meantime we are really struggling and as I work I get no govt. aid or funding. I threatened to go to the CSA and he laughed in my face saying I''d get nothing. (He is obviously being well advised by Fathers for Justice!) It turns out he''s right as when I told the CSA he''s self employed (and is paid mostly cash in hand) they said it would be very difficult to get anything. I know, from when we were together, he earns about £50000/yr but on his tax return manages to claim it''s about £15000. I''m finding it really hard to deal with this injustice never mind the lack of funds so any help would be very gratefully received...

Hi Angie,

The CSA find it very difficult getting money from self employed people because it can be easy to (how can I say this) - massage the figures - to show income less than what it is ........ its difficult when one party is less than honest

Its a shame your ex has decided not to contribute to your kids (I''m using the term ''your'' as joint responsibility here)

However, I very much doubt Fathers For Justice would advise him to stop paying for your children - the organisation tries to promote fathers as equal parents, especially as so many fathers in divorces become estranged from their children.

It seems legally little can be done to force him to pay, if I were you I''d appeal to his better nature and negotiate another voluntary contribution.

Are there any third parties that you could lean on to assist you with coercing him?

Take care

WR

I wish! Unfortunately he is someone who does whatever he likes, (physical and mental abuse, takes all my money, refuses to pay child support etc) and always manages to get away with it. He seems to have 100% the rights with 0% responsibility.

I hear so much about ''poor men'' whose ex-wives have fleeced them and taken the kids. I''d love to know how because every which way I turn I lose, and the law seems to be totally against me...

Tell me about it! I too have a self employed ex and I doubt if I will ever get any CM for our son.... How do they sleep??

Very well if my ex is anything to go by - especially when they don''t have to get up at all hours to calm nighmares or clean vomit off duvets etc etc!

What I don''t understand is why the courts think it''s ok for a deadbeat dad to have whatever access he likes to his kid - is it beneficial for a kid to learn that kind of behaviour is acceptable?! Where''s the justice? What other leverage have us struggling mums got if the CSA will do jack-s***t?! WHY is there no court enforcement?!

Sorry for the rant but I am just SOOOO frustrated!!!

WhiteRose wrote:

Hi Angie,

Its a shame your ex has decided not to contribute to your kids (I''m using the term ''your'' as joint responsibility here)

Yes but.

Look at it from our point of view. We are left, Suddently "our" kids become in the mothers eyes "MY kids" and then your expected to pay!

What he''s doing is wrong but if all men are told is " you will pay for my children" what do you expect!

Angie, you say you work so you are not entitled to government funding. Does this mean you earn too much to claim any working or child tax credits?

You also have to be realistic in that if someone doesn''t want to pay there are ususally ways for them not to. So your best bet is to try and manage without the child support and then if you do get some it''s a bonus.

There are lots of us solely supporting our children so you are not alone, it''s not easy and it doesn''t seem fair.