Shared Caret

I have a duaghter 14 full time with me ,get Child Benefit. Son 12 supposedly joint care but mainly with me often for continuous weeks at a time dont get child benefit so also get hit by bedroom tax. Last few weeks son with me tues to Sat which is fairly normal. Now ex has told me that she cant manage him as he he violent towards her which is what she said about daughter just before she assulted her,she has said I must have him for four weeks to give her a break and then she will TRY him again. I am fed up as I am trying to run a two child household on a one child income which means they both suffer plus I dont beleive I should be used as punishment, son wants to stay with me now as he is fed up. I am stuffed full of painkillers and other meds and this is driving me round the bend.
dDo I risk the backlash and try for CB for him? Any ideas.

Does she get other benefits that are triggered by the child benefit? If it is going to become a more permanent arrangement then you should apply once that is clear. It may be worth keeping a log of how much time he spends with you to support any claim you make.

Hadenoughnow

53 full days out of 70 plus the days when i pick up feed etc or he is with me all day then is back to her for the night,last spreadsheet,now it will be 24/7 for 4 weeks minimum then no doubt he will be wanted again as she gets c.b. which triggers housing benefit so I get hammered by bedroom tax I cant downsize where would he live?

spoke to helpline and sent ex a careful and unemotional email,trust me it took a good few drafts
"To confirm that I will visit xxxxxxx after I collect him from school to allow xxxxx to collect his things.
I am of course happy to move to a full time basis wef.
I am very concerned that you are treating sending xxxxxxx to me as some sort of punitive action and I will not be complicit with this I will deal with him according to his behaviour to me and xxxxxxx.
xxxxxxx can display challenging behaviour but I do not recognise the xxxxxxx you are describing , remember I had him full time when he had the stress of starting secondary school.
It is likely that xxxxxx will feel that you have in fact “dumped” or abandoned him and this will be hard to overcome. I will not accept him being with you if he is good and sent to me if you can’t manage him it is not fair on him leaving him in a situation where he is insecure so I would ask you to consider how you will have changed things should he return to you as I do not see how you intend to control his behaviour should you wish to have him back.
Should it arise that there is an off on situation then I would have to consider residence, I hope matters will not go this way as our agreeing is going to be in both the children’s interests.
There is no good parent bad parent in this, nor should any personal antipathy spill over into his care, simply the need to make sure that xxxxxxxhas a secure and ordered life.
I will not be putting any pressure on xxxxx to make any decision on his preference at the moment because clearly you are not his favourite person, I have asked him if he would like to talk to a third party and he so far has said he does not want to.
As discussed in the past it may now be appropriate for him to live with me with close contact with you.
I appreciate that having done so much to put your life back on track it may feel that you have worked hard and have not got the rewards but I am sure both children love you , will grow closer to you and you may well be stronger for them living apart than having constant conflict."
I will wait for a response meanwhile informed council etc of his status.