private schooling fees - fair agreement?

hi

we are going through the same as everyone else - my sbx has up till now paid for my son's private schooling costs (650/month) out of her salary, while i covered all other bills (mortgage, food, daughter's nursery etc etc).

sbx wants my daughter to go to the same school next september '09 which will mean that the fees will go up to 1300/month - she has tried to get me to agree to pay all the schooling fees + uniform, school trips etc - i have refused and offered 75% as the children are hers too, and it is she that wants them at private school (i want the best education for them)

is the offer i put down realistic, or should i go for say 70% - as she will now want an increase in her SM?

all thoughts welcome please today - because i want to agree it between ourselves (also should i stipulate for how long/annual reviews?)

dissapointed dad

just to add about SM - she has tried to get the house and all equity in the sale (+- 200k) in lieu of SM - i have disagreed and am prepared to accept 70/30 split in the equity - as i don't want to fund here future partner(s)

how is sm calculated?

dd

I think that it would be tough on your daughter not to have the same privileged schooling as your son, so it needs to be paid for somehow.

If you have been paying nursery fees then surely the school fees aren't all that much more? Or is she expecting you to take on your son's fees as well? Will she be taking over the mortgage, etc. when you split, to make up for this?

In any case, doesn't it depend partly on your relative incomes? You don't say what these are.

I would have thought also that school fees count as extra child maintenance, not spouse maintenance.

Sadie

You have not really given much information to go on. But I would say that a relative and fair proportion of your earnings each would be fair. It would be unfair to give your son the private education and not your daughter. HOwever, private education up to the age of junior school is pretty pointless anyway. Perhaps you could delay it until your daughter is rising 8?

Why don't you make a really radical suggestion that maybe your children attend state schools it will save a lot of arguments over money.