how does the term 'absent parent' fit all?

Sorry, I meant generally could anyone to think of a better term than non resident parent to distinguish between the parents.


Zara, you are correct. The courts in the UK and Europe have said it is discriminatory to award the benefits to one parent and not the other and the Government have said administratively it is too difficult to do otherwise. Benefits follow the parent who receives CB. Unfortunately it's one of those cases of working within the system rather than wishing it was different when it isn't.

I sympathise. Been there and still fighting back. I'm officially the absent parent despite us sharing care exactly equally,ie 14 days in 28 residence etc. And I pay the extras like phone/pocketmoney/clothes/holidays and haircuts. But because she can, and because of her nature despite our 'Clean Break' divorce on her adultery my ex still insists on making a CSA claim against me which she can because she currently holds the Child Benefit.
If you share care completely then in theory you both should share the Child Benefit (CB). But the law doesn't work like that even if all things are equal, it favours the mother. If she holds the CB then that gives her the right to make a CSA claim against you at any time she likes. And the CSA will make an order against you as a result. It amazes me that 'they' can think this is right or fair, but they'll hide behind the law - in a 'computer says no' sort of way until you're forced to pay up.
If you're threatened with a CSA order (trust me that'll be a solicitor working behind the scenes spewing poison) then your only option is to apply for the CB yourself which you can if you share care. Once the application process is taking place you can tell everything else -ie the CSA and that claim against you can be held up. It is using the system against itself. If your application fails, make another and another and another as it is your right to do, thus stalling the CSA. Having said that your best bet is to try to stay friends with your ex and work out an amicable/grown up way of handling this. You sound like this is possible in your case so I'd work on that.
But be very wary of the CSA/ Work & Pensions people. Their 'officials' have unbelievable power and little if any oversight. My ex made an anonymous allegation about my finances to the CSA last year and without even a question from them to me they accessed my personal bank account going back three years and demanded to know where every penny in came from. We're told officially the Dept of Work and Pensions only acts like this is as a 'last resort' - well in my experience no they don't, they do what they like when they like. And I have no doubt they read and use forums lke this too.

algy

You are making a MASSIVE assumption about the CSA reading forums like this, DO THEY ACTUALLY READ ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!
Five years, five years, was my experience with them. They lost money, said my partner was in debt, and he was not, so put him on deduction from earnings order, then took another payment out, twice in one month December, just before xmas. He was paying nearly £500 for one child and they could not see their calculations were wrong.He was only earning £800pm at that time. Did not pay his ex, which caused even more hassle. They were useless. Suicide rates were on the increase at that time too because of their ridiculous decisions
Phone calls, what is the point, I reckon they used to pick up the phone, make an excuse that they were looking for your file and then b****r off on a shopping spree ! never to be heard of again.

Three massive huge lever arch files.

Until these more than useless, moronic systems and departments are made to use common sense and an ounce of intelligent thinking there is always going to be bad feeling and unecessary heartache.



They cause far more trouble than they are worth.

zara

I think better terms would be Co-parent receiving CB and Co-Parent not receiving CB. It is truthful and self-explanatory.

Or, how about:

Shared Care and Residency Entity treated Without Equal decency =
SCREWED!!!

tehehehe

There has been attempts to sort out this problem and so far it has not happened because it is in the too hard to do box. The only consolation in this case is that both parties earn the same. There are situation out there where PWC earns alot more than the NRP, equal residency and the NRP still has to pay and is not eligible for Child Tax Credits.

The situation is easier if there are an even number of children as the CBA will award some benefits to each party.

The law and agencies simply have not caught up with the changes in society and people should right to their MP's and MEP's to point it out. Or maybe if you have enough money you could pay one of the Lords to amend the legislation. I am happy to put a poun in towards than fund!

regards and good luck,
Perry

If those were to be the names used to described both parents i would feel hugely offened , given the fact my ex is a proper absent parent and the kids are forgetting what he looks like.

Angel we are not talking about non-Resident Parents who are truly 'absent' we are talking about parents who are fully involved in the children's lives, like me with 50/50 shared care who get labelled non-resident as if it was me that deserted them.

I can assure you for both mom's and dad in that situation it is extremely offensive to be termed a NRP or AP and that the person receiving the CB is somehow more caring and gets to be called The Parent With Care.

One size does not fit all is the problem in this case and there are growing numbers of moms and dads in this situation.

In my case I am The Parent With Care for the elder child and the NRP for the younger. The basis is I get CB for older and his mom gets it for the younger. How do you think that would make the children feel if they became aware of it? Mommy how come daddy cares for me more than you do, or how come daddy cares more for my sibling than me?

This thread is about shared care families, not absent parents.

We have shared care.

We agreed at the split that the child benefit money would go into a joint account and is used to pay for stuff for the children.

Neither is classed or called as PWC or NRP. CSA were not involved. The world and the children know us as mum and dad.

I think you can only do this if salaries are equal, and emotions are put to one side in the best interests of the children, and boy was that difficult!!

And my partner behaved with reason and solicitors were avoided like the plague.