Girlfriend wants to go back to home to Sth Africa

Hi,

My name is Martin and im desperate for advice. Im sorry if im in the wrong topic section but i cant find anywhere else to post.

Me and my Girlfriend of 4 years have a 2 year old daughter. My girlfriend is South African and me and my daughter are English.

Last weekend i was shocked to find out that my Girlfriends parents have booked a flight for her and my Daughter to return to live in South Africa. I dont know if i would ever have found out but by chance. She says the flight is booked for may 5 but i have just found out that it is an open ticket and thats the latest it can be used.

My real question is, is she allowed to do this without my permission? I cant stand the fact of losing my little girl and dont know how i will cope without her. My Girlfriend says i can see her whenever i want but i cant go to south Africa every weekend and i cant keep my daughter safe with seeing her on a web cam.

I feel very betrayed as all i have ever been is a loving boyfriend and father.

Any help would be appreciated, even if i know where to start. We are still in the same house at the moment but as you can imagine the atmosphere is awful.

Im trying not to hate her for what she has done as all i care about now is my Daughter and me getting angry isnt gonna help matters.

Thanks for any advice.

A very hurt

Martin.

If your name is on the childs birth certificate, she effectively has to ask yor permission to take your daughter out of the country for periods over a week. In reality though, this doesn not always happen.

She should haveyour permission before taking your daughter to SA indefinately and you can appply through the courts to stop this from happening. The law entitles you to access and visitation and if you have perantal responsibility (name on birth certificate) she cannot stop you from doing this.
Unfortunately, once your chld is out of the country they are no longer covered by british law, but by the law of the country they are in. This is probably something you don't want to hear

Citizens Advice will probably be able to help you on this but i hope i was of some help. My ex is presntly persuing a carreer abroard leaving our daughter with me, and i am trying to stop him from going as i feel that contact between them is more important than any financial gains.

Good luck.

hi martin,
i am having the same problem, what i done was got hold of my sons passport, that is the first thing you have to do, legaly i am not sure as you are not married, but at least getting hold of the passport will give you time to get advice.

thoughts are with you, i know how you are feeling.
pete.

Technically it is child abduction to remove a child from the jurisdiction without the consent of all those Parental Responsibility or the courts. According to current law a father has this responsibility only if he is married to the mother when the child is born or has acquired legal responsibility for his child through one of these three routes:

(after 1 December 2003) by jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother

by a parental responsibility agreement with the mother

by a parental responsibility order, made by a court


If you do not wish to consent you will need to act very quickly and apply to court urgently for a prohibited step order to prevent the move and if you don't have it, a parental responsibility order. Ultimately your girlfriend may be given permission to remove the child from jurisdiction but at least you would have proper arrangements in place. I suggest you consult a family solicitor PDQ to find out where you stand and what options there are.

Thank you all for your replies. Unfortunatly both my Girlfriends and my daughters passports are missing. I suspect that they have been handed to her sister to stop me from getting hold of them.

I will get a solicitor and pray that i can stop this from happening. Its an impossible situation really. If i manage to keep her here her mother is going to do everything in her power to make my life difficult and thats not going to be good for my daughter.

My concern is for my Daughter, im scared to death to let her go but will if its best for her.

Im still feeling numb and am hoping that im going to wake up and everything is ok but i know thats not gonna happen.

My little girl is the happiest little girl i know, she is constantly laughing and has 2 parents and grandparents that adore her. I know my Girlfriend is homesick but this is just unaceptible. I could never be so cruel and selfish.

Thanks again for listening.

Martin.

( feeling a bit better that im not alone in this. )

hi martin,
i know what you mean, when you say you would never be so cruel, i was also homesick when we first moved to spain, as i missed my other kids that where in the uk, and we where struggling to survive, my wifes answer to that was that if i want to go back then i can go alone!.
but i stuck it out, for the sake of keeping the family together then things improved with the business, and my other kids followed me to spain, only to be forced out again by my wife, now she wants to move to bulgaria, and again no thought for me:( or what is best for our son.