FDA and poss FDR preparation/response help please

FDA is 2 weeks away. form E's were exchanged and exchange of the chronology, statement of issues & questionnaire is this week.

I've just received a "without prejudice" offer from his solicitor which seems to offer 50:50 of both house equity and pension CETVs. His own previous offer was equity 60:40 to me, pensions 56:44 to him.

The main issue at contention though is selling the FMH. He wants it sold now. I want to ensure children's stability, especially autistic son who struggles with school and starting GCSE year. I'm also working from home now and for foreseeable future due to C19 and our graduate daughter is back home, unemployed and in limbo. I appreciate the latter two aren't S25 factors but they reinforce the self-absorbed attitude of my STBX as mine and the children's housing needs are hugely different to his (he has the boys 2 nights every other weekend at his rental apartment), works from an office 2-3 days per week and spends non-contact weekends at his girlfriend's.

My proposal was deferring sale (Mesher) for 2-3 years max to see elder son into a post 16 pathway.
I have also offered to raise a figure of 25% of the equity to be offset by a reduction in my pension share so he can put down a deposit but he refuses that seemingly on principle.

I don't really wish to question anything much in his Form E figure wise but can I question things such as:-
• Why his Form E makes no mention of our son's learning disability, making him very resistant to change, had been refusing school prior to "lockdown", struggles with school work and is just starting his GCSE year
• His justification for paying £x child maintenance when the GOV.UK calculator finds the sum as £x based on his income and number of nights he has the children?
• What individual item(s) worth over £500 he means as "house contents"?
• Why he attended a MIAM, obtained a sign off of Form A to commence these proceedings without inviting me to attend a MIAM and enter into mediation?
And basically anything where I have provided context and rationale in my Form E whereas his Form E is brief on detail and just repeats the same assertion as to what he wants?

The settlement offer his side has sent states that the applicant will not "consider any counter offer…that does not involve a sale at the present time"?
Will I be expected, at FDA or FDR to have responded to that offer and/or made a counter offer regardless? Do I refer to the offer in my statement of issues? Does the other side include the offer in their bundle for the FDA?

What is reasonable on Form G as to being unready to proceed with FDR at FDA? I don’t want to be hoodwinked by the other side into finding myself in a hearing where some info is missing but I'm not really sure that at this stage, given the statement of issues is supposed to be concise, that there will be a suitable way of getting my point of view over in an FDR. Can I just say that I won't be ready and am taking some legal/financial advice? Otherwise I can only say I'm waiting for a revaluation of the house or an updated pension CETV figure.

I am hoping to secure some support via the Wiki helpline service pre FDA but any help on these questions would be really appreciated in the meantime.

Your priority here is the children. The court will also prioritise the needs of minor children. Having said that the aim is always a Clean Break as soon as is practical.

In some ways it may be worth getting FDR out of the way and fast tracking to FH where there will be much more opportunity to explore your concerns.

Have you raised these things in your statement of issues?

NB the court cannot impose a settlement at FDR. The judge can only advise.

The court will not be interested in matters relating to child maintenance being underpaid. This is a statutory requirement that should be enforced via CMS.

It is common for a value to be put on house contents collectively although that isn't what Form E asks for. Unless the figure he has put is clearly over inflated it probably isnt worth querying. On sale contents would be divided by agreement. Courts don't like getting involved in arguments over who keeps the hoover etc.

If you need assistance and have not got long to the hearing, you should call the helpline sooner rather than later. Tell them you have been referred from the forum.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks Hadenoughnow for your quick response.

I'm waiting to hear back from the helpline as when I called yesterday they directed me to a service but the description doesn't seem to match what we discussed. Their consultant is not taking new clients but I could use paralegal from a partner firm which I may have to do instead.

Yes - the children are my priority for the next 5 years but really don't seem to be his judging by the "offer", contents of his Form E and his general attitude.

It was his side's offer that included child maintenance - to be paid at the amount he's currently paying. I'm not clear why they included, given it's a separate matter and I was planning to address that after this settlement.

I do want to reiterate in my statement, the pragmatic proposals I've made - either a Mesher or clean break, with him taking a lump sum that I can afford to raise in return for less pension share.
But do I also need to specifically address each of the 7 "terms" in the offer so that the judge sees those at the FDA?

As our finances are fairly simple, will it be regarded as unfavourable if I give reason for not being ready for FDR at FDA as just needing more time to take advice and look at my financial position?

Thank you