I don''t know what to do

Brave and gently generous post jenni55. Well done you for finding the delight in the small things. I don''t know if my ex has, or will remarry, it will be soon if he''s going too, and I know, even though I''m so much happier nowadays, that it will knock me down for a bit.

Enjoy your sugar, I have mine in coffee, and full fat mayonnaise too and yet strangely I don''t put weight on nowadays. Guilt trips are a thing of the past and good thing too.

depressedboy, please take comfort from the fact that she tried, and for quite a number of years too. Eliza Doolittle put a post on here which helped me understand that we can project a persona onto someone we love, and perhaps depend on. Maybe your wife''s needs have changed, yours too, and for your wife at least, the two no longer gel.

I also know that you aren''t going to give a stuff about this right now, getting through every minute is actually a success. There was no respite for me from the pain, only time lessened the degree, and it was months before I could even smile. Allow the tears, trust that the anti depressants will work, but they can''t remove the pain, it just comes at you in a wodge of cotton wool.

Sleep is a difficult one, I found meditating the best help, and would usually end up just sitting there crying. Lying in bed counting breaths is a difficult discipline when your head is running over and over every part of your marriage, but do try it. Breathe in for a count of 6, without forcing. Hold for a count of 6. Release the breath for a count of 6. Hold empty for a count of 6. Repeat the cycle 9 times.

depressed_boy wrote:

My head hurts so much. I''ve been reduced to Absolute nothing.

Not a nice way to end it. And she did keep you dangling until she got to a place that was ok for her. Not fair really. She should have let you go right at the start and you wouldnt have had to suffer so much.

But what to do? I know this is going to sound tough but you are going to need a job. Do what ever you need to do to get one. Of course this is going to mean that your going to have to get better.

Depression is like nothing else on earth. I suffered from mild depression once. That was pretty awful. Get yourself on your feet again and see if you can get back to work. This will make you feel a heck of a lot better and maybe with a bit of work you can turn your back on this whole sorry mess. Marshy.

Morning.

We on here have all been where you are now. Some are just starting on this road and for some it has ended through a process that can be cruel and unkind.

Hang in there, be kind to yourself.

There is not much that I can add that has not been said already but there will be brighter days.

Sending you hugs.

DB,

Unfortunately you have been in this place before,and I am so sorry that it never worked out for you,but in marriage it takes 2people to make it work,2 who want to be together,1 cannot do it on their own.For some reason your wife wants out,and however hard that is for you,you cannot make her stay.Saying that would you want to make her stay if you could?
When you look at things in a positive way,your answer will be No...why should you sell your love short...You deserve to be with someone who loves you equally as you love them,not a one sided love.Yes I know your hurting so very much,but she has made her decision,and I am not saying she does not love you,let''s just say she has other plans for herself...

The focus has to be on you now..
Your health and wellbeing are what matters.
I am glad that you have been to your Go,and that you have been prescribed medication,but yes it will take awhile to kick in properly.
Meanwhile there is much you can do to help yourself,meditation will help relax your mind,so try that.Eat well,go the Gym if that''s your thing,for me it was walking,I would go for miles...The most important thing is to keep yourself open,believe me I know depression just makes you want to shut down on everyone,it is a very lonely illness,shutting yourself away only feeds it,just talk to people you can trust,people who care about you...
I am not being condescending towards you,but these are steps to help you heal a little,as Marshy said,you need a job,so that will have to factor into the equation also...And for that optimum performance will be needed.

We are all here to support you on this,but don''t lose heart,you will feel better at some point,everything is just very raw for you at the moment..

Moments are parts of your life,but they do not define all of your life.

Stay strong
Xxxxxcwtchs