I don''t know what to do

Separated for 6 months. Only had minimal e-mail contact. Papers from her lawyer came the past week. Had a meltdown. Was nearly sectioned when seeing GP at medical center. On anti-depressants.

Lost job. Lost Everything. I don''t know what to do.

Please advise.

Hey depressed boy

Sending you lots of good wishes and hugs (()). I think the only thing you can do is take it minute by minute and I really now how hard that is to do as I was in a very similar position to you two years ago and i had a breakdown.

Im not sure on your situation so I take it you are not in a position to even look for work at the moment so have you signed on yet or been assessed by doctor for any further benefits? Might be really important to know at least you will have some money coming in.

Has the doc referred you to counselling? I know some areas have voluntary services so might be something to look for.

Be really gentle with yourself and I kept thinking of a brighter day and tried to rationalise that the loss of my family, home and job was going to utterly knock me out and was going to take me a very long time to adjust.

Journaling your feelings is useful and also making a plan of all the things you need to do practically are also good steps, and also some routines to keep you going. Reading, walking and meditation and colouring books also good for me as it distracts the mind as is a good nights sleep but this was tricky for me. When I was up for it after a year I joined the gym and this was the single biggest thing to help me in my recovery.

Not sure what else to say but you can always PM me and I am sure many more people will help you as well.

She left 5 years ago. July 2010. I was steadfast. Tried to fix things. We got back together January 2011.

November 2014, she left. I was devastated. Minimal e-mail correspondence. Still hoped to reconcile, as up until March, seemed OK.

April, she said that it''s all over. Eventually lost job due to the stress of it all.

Last week, papers arrived in the post. I lost it - meltdown. Too many concurrent stresses.

Life s**ks.

You''ve already had the best advice with coping, and it is tough, but you are receiving professional care, and as long as you stay with it, your life will recover.

Your marriage broke down a month before mine, fortunately my ex had no wish to even try to mend us, and he was right not to. But that doesn''t mean that it was a breeze for me, I did the whole suicidal trip too, and again was fortunate to have a brilliant doctor who saw me through. I didn''t even post on here at the time,I was so ashamed of my weakness. But it wasn''t weakness, it was a torn loving heart. And even damaged loving hearts are strong, so please keep that in mind.

You poor darling, you have been on egg shells for the last 5 years, but so has your wife, trying very hard to repair a broken marriage, that for her at least, can''t be. I know that in spite of all the horror stuff my ex did, he was right to bring an end to a marriage where he no longer loved as a man should love his wife. I have had these last years to heal, you on the other hand have spent the time clinging to a sinking ship and that is no good for you, or your wife. Time now to let go.

Even though sometimes I feel lonely, right now I am writing to you after turning down an invitation from a friend whose company I relish, instead I fibbed and spent the time in my garden covered in earth and my pleasingly successful compost making efforts. During a very late lunch, (where I chopped my homegrown mint for my special treat lamb chop) I considered with a little sadness what a shame my ex couldn''t share with me the simple life I so enjoy now. He though likes the bright lights with his not so new now partner, boozing, expensive cars, presents, holidays etc., all of which I have no idea how he even manages to pay for. But aside from some residual anger I feel re the money, he''s living his life and I''m incredibly happy in mine. But it has taken a few years, (two that I can now hardly remember, they were so painful) to get here, and I''m still a work in progress.

We all deserve to find happiness, not at the expense of another though. Please give yourself a chance. If I can love as I did and yet still be OK now, so can you.

I don''t know what to say other than offer you a hug and say that this will get better, you will get better. I''m a year down the line, I have good days often followed by terrible days but through it all I think I''m happier than I was with him. Being on your own is scary especially after the twenty years we had together but you will find so much support on here from both men and women.
Please take care of yourself, eat well and try and sleep. Take comfort from perhaps doing the simplest thing that perhaps yesterday you couldn''t do.
Keep posting we will all be here for you xx

Where is the grace in ending it with an e-mail on Easter Day itself?

I still love her very much. I know that it is the same the other way round. At least a quick phone call. After all these years, I feel as though I never knew her at all.

Sleeping pills not working. Anti-depressants not working, though I was told it takes a few weeks.

My head hurts so much. I''ve been reduced to absolute nothing.

Hi I have only just found this site and this is my first post ever in a forum but felt so moved by your obvious pain I felt the need to add something to the messages already sent. My marriage ended 4 years ago when I was 57 I met my ex when I was 17. Ive had no other partner. He remarried last month. The only thing I can say along with everything written before is that I am now trying to focus on doing something for myself rather than hanging on to what might have beens. Its silly but even putting sugar into a cup of tea makes it feel like a treat because I dont usually take tea with sugar and only because its ''bad'' for me...well I can feel ''bad'' and it puts a smile on my face as there is no one to reprimand me!!! Getting through the day minute by minute was the key for me I truly hope you find some comfort and peace soon...as written before suicide attempts due to a broken heart are difficult to recover from just dont expect too much from yourself and remember we are all work in progress..sending you a big virtual hug x