Good idea or bad idea?

MooToo wrote:

It''s just so very sad that two people that once had such trust in each other have come to this

Yes it is. But we are all passing ships in the night. Nothing is forever.

Some observations about your situation.

Some people will lie about you. Some will tell the truth. Some will guess. Some will ignore you. None of the above has anything to do with you and what you did or didnt do.

People are like governments. Fickle. One day your in the friends group. Next day they are bombing you back to the stone age. There is nothing you can do. Just live life to your own rules and sod everyone else. Just dont damage people unnecessary. But sometimes you have no choice. You have to do the right thing for you. You cant live your life to the beat of someone else''s drum.

You cant influence your ex with words. Everything you say will sound like poison. But I understand your intentions. You want the truth to come out. But right now, you have to leave it be. But the truth always comes to the surface eventually. But by then. It often does not matter.

He is angry with you. He feels rejected and scorned. He probably feels that you have broken his life. So he is bound to feel this way.

Best thing to do is stop talking to him. But I know you like talking to him as part of you still has feelings for him. And he has feelings for you. But he is in conflict. He hates you for what you did but loves you at the same time. And in you is also turmoil. You hate how you treated him. And you hate yourself for what your doing. And fearful. Fearful that he will meet someone else and how that will make you feel. Lots going on here and none of it good. And you will probably feel bad when he meets someone else. Just another thing you have to suck up.

Bottom line here is that you need to stay out of each others way for a while. Allow time for the dust to settle. Then either of you will not have these feelings and life can get back to normal.

Lastly. I used to sit and listen to my ex banging on about her BF. How I sat there and let it wash over me without strangling her I will never know. But I have seen her a few times in the last 10 years. Lately. I blank her. I dont know her. But its funny. Once upon a time I would have stopped a bullet for her. Now? I look right thru her. Marshy.

Marshy - you are a godsend to this forum!

You are blooming spot on!!

Thank you

I''ve just read Marshy''s words. He''s made some good observations over the years, but my, every so often he writes something absolutely amazing. Thank You. x

Marshy''s observations are always worth reading and he is right yet again.

I know in the early days I typed a letter over several days, intending to give it to my ex when time had passed. Time passed and I realised he would NEVER read the words in the way I intended. He didn''t see my point of view when we were happy together so he certainly wouldn''t when we were separated. Once it dawned on me that he couldn''t see my viewpoint it became much easier to ignore what he said. I deleted that letter. But typing it out did help me get my feelings together when I needed to.

Events came to light last night that have absolutely confirmed that I will never give him a letter. He is so angry and as Marshy states all my words are poison to him no matter what I say.

His anger came out in full force again last night as I found evidence to suggest he is seeing someone else, but he point blank refutes it and yells to me about how dare I question his honour and integrity! I actually have no real issue about the fact he maybe seeing someone, it''s the lies that he is telling that hurt so much. He seems to forget that he''s lied to me about things in the past and only admitted them when I have irrefutable proof!

Without going into too much more detail I am now at a point whereby I have realised that I''m done. I''m done with everything to do with the situation and am now just focusing on the necessary - it''s the only way I will get through.