Daily post

Hello people,

Not even sure what I am going to write but I just need to do this as I feel so low today.

Is it wrong to wallow in sadness every now and again? I feel so crap today.

I have been reading this forum since 9am this morning and am struggling to do anything else. I am not sure what I am looking for.

It feels like today is just a write-off. It feels like if I wanted to bring myself out of this I could but I have''nt got the motivation to do so.

M.

Hi Moona50
I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I think it''s normal to have days like this even for people who haven''t been through a divorce. Everyone has ups and downs.
It''s a gorgeous day today, are you feeling up to going out for a short walk? Maybe sit outside and have a coffee and watch the world go by? Some times just one tiny thing can have a big effect on our day.
Don''t be hard on yourself. You''ve been through a tough time and it''s been a life changing experience.
I used to have days like you''re having today. Now I''ve come to a financial settlement and finally had the Absolute they are few and far between I''m glad to say. Misery is so debilitating. Some days I could hardly brush my teeth I hardly had the energy to hold the brush. Now I feel much better and I''m trying hard to remain positive.
I''m sure you''ve heard the saying ''fake it til you make it'' and I truly believe it works. Even on my darkest day if someone asked me how was I always said ''great''. Now I can say it honestly.
I don''t know how long you have been separated or if you are yet divorced but I promise you that brighter days are ahead even if you can''t see it now. Sadness is ok and it''s fine to grieve for what you have lost but you have to be careful not to let it take over your life. There are billions of people in the world and there is not just one single person who can make us happy. There may be someone on the horizon for you who can make you happy again but if you''re always staring at the floor how will you see them?
So, for today embrace your sadness on condition that tomorrow you are going to get up and get dressed, eat nourishing food and take yourself out somewhere even if it''s for an hour. Promise us that you will Moona50 or I''ll be really cross with you!!!
If you feel like your sadness has been going on a long time then why don''t you see your doctor or have some counselling. You may have to try out a few counsellors til you find someone you feel comfortable is.
I hope you don''t think I''m being patronising. I''m not. I''vebeen through the same experience as you so I know how hard it can be and what it feels like when you get into a rut.
Good Luck and let us know how it''s going tomorrow. I''ll be looking out for your post.

Thanks a lot for your post and I don''t think you are being patronising at all.

Tomorrow will be different. I am living in the same house as my STBX and will be until next week so I think this is grinding me down.

I am just feeling like I have no emotional strength today and it has floored me.

M.

Just do what you can to get by for now. It''s called self preservation and we all do it from time to time. If being in the same house is stressful then try to remove yourself from the situation til next week. Maybe meet some friends, go to the cinema etc. It certainly can''t be easy living under the same roof when the relationship has come to an end.
We''re all here for you in wiki world as we''ve all been thought it and found ourselves here for one reason or another.
Things may be different next week. Another of my favourite sayings (I love sayings) ''and this too shall pass'' meaning that nothing stays the same for ever. Life moves in cycles. We go through good, we go through bad. That''s the natural order of things. So enjoy the good times and when bad times come just remember good times will follow.
Can I recommend a book to you? It''s called the secret by Rhonda Byrne. I read it a few years ago and I''ve read it again recently. It''s very positive and you might like it. It certainly gave me a new perspective. I can''t pretend I practise what''s recommended all the time but I try to think of one positive every day however small. It helps me see through the darkest days.
Stay strong M and come on here as often as you like. Even now I''m divorced I still like to dip in to try to give hope to those still going through it that things do get better. A year ago I wouldn''t have believed it but honestly it has. I took control of my life and it''s working. Chin up M !!

Moona,you have to hit the floor before you go back up,and believe me I hit the floor,and I have experienced many more do the same,in a way lot more dramatic and dangerous than mine.

Sitting and reading wiki is okay,if that is all you want to do.I think we all devoured it in our crucial times,and whilst all replies are gratefully received,there may just be that one sentence in a reply,and Voila,some things click for you...
Nobody can take away any of this pain,and I really mean no-one,you have to work through it,and it takes as long as it takes.Your working to your timetable,not mine or anybody else''s,this is all about YOU...
If you want to wallow in sadness,then do it...but only for today,tomorrow will be different....

We read on wiki,we have friends say these words,
"We know how you feel"..
No we don''t .....I am guilty of saying those words,but I don''t know how you feel,and neither does anyone else,this is your pain and anguish...
Some words I would like you to think about though...What will it take for your life to improve?What will it take for Moona''s outlook to change,and ultimately What future do you want for him?

Your dealing with today,and the lows that have come with it,but tomorrow is another day,and it brings the gift of hope with it,as will the following days,but give those thoughts about what Moona wants for himself a little time also...

Sending you cwtchs
Afon xx

I too am having a crap day. Was supposed to be at mediation today coming face to face with stbx in nearly a year.
I spent the whole day yesterday working, trying to distract myself and stop crying. Didnt eat until 11.30, as started to collect all the papers together ready for today. Had a dreadful night, only to receive an email at 7.15 to say it was cancelled.
I am looking forward to the day that all this stops ruling my life. Would have had a day out keeping busy but my dog is not well, so at home keeping her company hoping she doesn''t need the vet.
Stay strong, we will get through this. I have resigned myself to countless more bad days before the good ones start.

Hi there fella

I cannot take away your pain and suffering Moona . You can .

What is one of the most difficult things to give up fella . I bet you already know.
For many it''s the future we''ve imagined we''d had together . You know what I mean ..it''s all the wonderful times we were about to experience together ..some far away day. The notion that we they were going to be by our side indefinitely . It was the reliving thought that we wouldn''t have to go out there anymore ,ever

Now these plans have evaporated . Safety gone . So what ?

Why can''t that be a good thing ? These were just that ..... Plans , hopes ,dreams.

Smoke in the air Moona.

Here we go , picture yourself floating in the middle of a river .

When you''re happy and in a fulfilled relationship you just allow yourself to drift down the river and marvel at all the wonders passing by.


Maybe there is more happiness around the next bend , house ,holiday kids ,grandkids ? Who knows .

Then we break up and heck we swim upstream with everything we have got . Why ? Because the bends that you passed now seem more attractive than the ones before you . Nameless horrors await you ... Or so you think . So we swim and swim until we are exhausted and about to drown and we say enough is enough .


The best thing that happens to you then us that you stop swimming you Let Go . Then we start to drift again, just like you did before when you were happy .

But now it''s freakin scary .

What we do not know pal is the wonders are still there waiting for us.Somewhere after the next bend . So we start to marvel again .

We have to let go particularly of the dreams and future plans . That came first .
Once I stopped swimming upstream , and accepted my current situation I drifted , you know what around the bend are marvellous opportunities , I we

found a radio station drifting downstream , I found a guy that wants to form a band., all good stuff for me . I found strength and reserves I never knew existed , I found courage , I found humility and learned about humbleness . I found that I am OK as I am . I found gratitude .

I also learned that negative thinking gave me negative results . Positivity is all around us . We focus so much on the pain we get lost in it . It grips us . Fear grips us .

Moona, know this . You are going to be ok . Look for the positive and you will see , your brain chemistry changes . You , will notice people being negative ,check yourself . I know it''s not easy , believe me it does get easier .
On another note , I spoke with a family member today and was informed that summer was over and bad weather coming , flamin doom and gloom . What is bad weather . ? To one it''s bad another it''s good .
Singing in the rain . .. All about how we view the world fella . We gotta change to positive thoughts , no procrastinating . Challenge ourselves .

Get the Bass Guitar out , you never know what wonders are awaiting you Moona. No more up stream swimming .Let go , accept .


Standing shoulder to shoulder with you on your journey .
Stay well my friend

D