Stay at Home Mum - Fully reliant on Husband income

Hi All,

I've been in a long term relationship since the age of 17. Married coming up 6 years this August, together for 16 years, lived together for 8 years. We have a 2.5 yr old son - cut a long story short, husband earns monthly, own 2 properities, one is the matrimonial home , has savings and a business.

I on the other hand am a stay at home mum, with nothing, fully reliant on my husband. Vulnerable place to be yes, I honestly don't know what has happened over the years, only that I have let myself go and not focussed on my own delevopment or self/career/finances at all.

Husband has always been controlling, we have had our ups and downs but I now want to leave, after being on the fence for many years. I want him to help bring up our son as I feel this is important for us all, especially our boy.

I don't know where to start and can't speak on the phone at the moment - i'd just like a rough run down of what I would need to do to put things in place.

If anyone could help - where would I go? Do I tell him now or wait? Do I seek a lawyer now? What would I be entitled to? I don't understand the calculator at all. Our current home is in both our names but everything else is my husbands.

I have very little support, moved to the middle of nowhere and not much family. I would like to be aware of my options, I feel very lost without knowing what they are.

Thank very much in advance.

It doesn’t matter whose name an asset is in, Given the length of the relationship and a child everything will be in the pot.

Post details of all assets and incomes for someone to comment.i

Thanks; roughly this is what i know;

800k family home
500k second property
180k business
40k savings
other savings and pension - i don't know. not sure but roughly 100k
husband income - 5k per month
my name is on our family home - i would be liable to pay mortgage and bills i imagine
My income/assets/savings - 0
also husband works in finance - he is very good with money, has an accoutant he uses and a lawyer for work purposes - I wouldn't want half of everything (i'm aware our marriage isn't long on paper, but our relationship is) He has worked very hard to build this all up. I would just want somewhere to live and an income until I can fully sustain myself - I would of course expect him to help with our son.

Any ideas would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Thanks; roughly this is what i know;

800k family home
500k second property
180k business
40k savings
other savings and pension - i don't know. not sure but roughly 100k
husband income - 5k per month
my name is on our family home - i would be liable to pay mortgage and bills i imagine
My income/assets/savings - 0
also husband works in finance - he is very good with money, has an accoutant he uses and a lawyer for work purposes - I wouldn't want half of everything (i'm aware our marriage isn't long on paper, but our relationship is) He has worked very hard to build this all up. I would just want somewhere to live and an income until I can fully sustain myself - I would of course expect him to help with our son.

Any ideas would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

All contributions to a marriage are seen as equal. Your looking after the home is worth just as much as his building up the business.

It's a long relationship with children involved, Starting point will be 50:50 for assets but you can argue for more due to disparity in incomes. You could also argue for SM until you can train to get a job and maximise your income.

I always assumed it was the length of the marriage that was taken into account, nearly 6 years which is considered short..?

also I wouldn't want stress or to be greedy, just a place to live, support for my son and myself until I get back in my own feet.

I will likely call the helpline for advice as I need to know details.

The 8 years you lived together before marriage also count but once children are involved the length of the marriage becomes pretty irrelevant.

You have over £1.6 million in the pot to be shared. There is plenty to go round.