Help with D8 form please

Hi,

I have just joined this site and am finding it a great help! Each day I log on here I find myself feeling a bit more positive.

My husband and myself have just separated (2 weeks) and are living in separate bedrooms witin the MH. If I put my husband's address down as the same as mine on the petition will this be taken seriously by the Courts?

We have not yet arranged who is to move out and when which leads me to my next question - on the Ancillary Relief section of the Prayer I am not sure if I should cross out all the topics in (a) or leave 'a lump sum order' or 'a property adjustment order' as I am hoping to buy out my ex? We hope to devise some kind of Consent Order setting things out - my question is this something that should be done after the petition or mentioned under this 'ancillary relief' heading?

Lastly for unreasonable behaviour can someone please help me to formulate the attached? I have a tendency to waffle at times!

Relocation to Ireland issue - we split 3 years ago owing to this issue as he said he would never relocate, we then got back on the promise that we would and several years down the line nothing has materialised or even been suggested.

Inability to communicate effectively - he has spent time in Abu Ghraib (He is kurdish) and suffered mental & physical torture as result in addition to grief as family members died or were murdered - he never once discussed this with me in detail and always buries his anger and then explodes verbally. He has stomach acid reflux as a result of not confronting his personal issues and despite us attending couple counselling sessions at Relate we same to go around in circles having the same arguments.

Monetary issues - he has never accepted the fact that I earn more than him and this has been an underlying issue for us over the last 5 years and resulted in various squabbles about shopping/finances so much that we seem to go around in circles.

Lack of shared interests - he has no interest in the cinema, theatre, galleries or musuems so I always need to go with friends or alone - he also prefers to spend time on the computer rather than watch tv with me leading to feelings of isolation.

Cultural Differences - before the marriage he was quite westernised in his thinking but since becoming his wife he has cultural issues (i.e.the expectation that you should fulfil a specific role after marriage that is unrealistic, gender roles/the rearing of children etc)

Do you think that these 5 reasons are sufficient or do I need to get more specific with dates? Can someone help me to hone these down?

Many thanks in advance for any help - it is really much appreciated!!!

Jen

You can put the family home down as address for you both and the Court will take it seriously. At the next stage in the divorce, when you complete a special proceedure affidavit, you will be asked to answer a questioion as to whether you have lived in the same household snce the separation and if so, for details showing that you have, neverthless, lived separately - this means
- Not sleeping together
- Not cooking, washing or cleaning for each other
- separating finances as far as practical (so opening a bank account in your sole name, and either closing joint account or using it solely for household bills may be helpful)
If you think of the kind of arrangment you might have if you were each renting a room in a shared house, rather than living as acouple, and go from there.

In the petition, do not delete any of the Ancillary Relief sections. By leaving them in the petition, for all practical purposes you are not making any applicaton, you are simply leaving the door open to make applications in the event that you need to.

In relation to the particulars, I do not think you will need more than you have. However, You do need to set out not only how he has behaved, but also the impact on you that his behaviour has had;

e.g. "The respondent has become more 'traditional' in his outlook and expectations since the parties married, demanding that the Petitioner fulfill a traditional role as a subissive wife. This casues the Petitioner to feel pressured and to feel that the Respondet misled her and does not value her independene or her opinions"

It is best to focus on the most recent things, the ones which lef you to feel that there is no future for the marriage.

Hope this helps.