Mental Cruelty

My husband and I have been together over 20 years, married for 17. We have 4 children and until the millenium life was great. When my father died and my post natal depression got worse our marriage began to hit the rocks. To cut a long story short over the last 3 to 4 years my husband had a "Friendship" with another woman, ok that happens a lot. But knowing how depressed and fragile I was he chose to play mind games and torture me with self doubt (even when my mother was dying from cancer) I was told time and again that I was "ill" "sick in the head" "delusional" and that madness ran in my family! (My aunt committed suicide due to her marital breakup.) He even suggested at one point that I jump off the same bridge she did!!! I was also told constantly that there was no affair going on!!! (despite the fact I caught him out numerous times) Perhaps the final straw was when he told me he was "f--ked off with me and my dead mother!" The kids (teenagers now), have been witnesses to all this as have many friends. What I am asking is do the courts take into account the mental torment a family has been put through? (hubby!! has now run off with ANOTHER woman!) He has in the first flush of guilt given us the house, but given my depression, sick record, lack of ANY local employment and language difficulties (Rural Wales) is he liable for ensuring we survive? (apart from basic ancillary relief) He has destroyed this family - from being comfortable I now wonder how we will cope in the future. He has tentatively agreed a generous maintenance payment but in light of his recent actions we'll be lucky to get anything! Hence the question about the courts! Hope this makes sense, please help peeps xxx

I am sorry you have had such a terrible time. But I am not sure whether your husband's treatment of you would be considered in a financial settlement.

The length of your marriage and your financial needs are matters the court would consider.

When you say he has "given you the house" are you the sole owner now? Whose name is on the deeds?

I'd suggest pressing on for a financial settlement while he is still feeling generous/guilty.

Hi Nell,

yep mine is now the only name on the deeds.
We had thought we could do this so amicably but it is NOT working out like that. He is never here weekends - off with GF 200 miles away - we live in a rural part of the country and have no other transport. The only person we can rely on for any kind of help is my 77 year old stepfather. Yes we have the house but it is like a building site, there are so many unfinished/not started jobs that he promised he would see to when he left! When he is away (he has been for the last week) he doesnt bother to even text any of our daughters to see if they are still alive!!! I do see what you mean about the courts only being interested in the financial side, it just seems wrong that he gets to walk off into the sunset and we are left drowning. He has just come into an inheritance which he has asked me not to lay claim to £23,000 aprox. i had agreed because he was being generous about the amount of maintenance he was offering and because of the house - not sure now!! i had posted the question of getting any agreement made legal and you did help me with that (dont know if you remember).
Still dont know what to do tho! Thanks for being there, Jo x