FDR Panic

Hi. FDR is approaching and I am getting myself into a real panic about it, as I have heard of people being pressured into agreeing terms etc.

His financial information is completely out of date and he has refused to provide updates / evidence. Without this I don't know what the playing field is. If he provides this on the day will I be expected to digest all this info there and then or will a new date be set?

I have provided updated form E, Statement and draft Questionnaire. Should I provide anything else?

Thanks

Hi Meg,

You have provided updated info...the ex should do same...why is he refusing? Have you made a written request for an update...keep a paper trail, you never know what you may need.

Elle x

Thanks Elle

I have requested by email a few times, but he says he will not provide it unless court orders him to do so. I think he may turn up with new form E etc at FDR so as not to annoy judge too much. I'm worried I won't have time to take it all in at the hearing if I am presented with it there.

The reason he doesn't want to provide it is that his financial situation has changed in my favour and he also cannot justify his claims / expenditure.

I think it is crucial that if you feel you are being pressured that you say so.

As a solicitor I would certainly prefer a client to tell me at the time that they are feeling under pressure, anxious or, in the case of new evidence and documents, bewildered.

If you tell your solicitor and barrister (if you have one) how you are feeling I would imagine that they will be sensitive to your need for more time to consider.

Very often when lawyers or barristers put pressure on clients, they think that they are encouraging settlement with a view to saving the costs, risk and antagonism of the final hearing.

That motive on their part gets lost in the interpretation.

In summary, make sure your solicitor knows what you are feeling by telling them.

Good luck at the FDR! I hope you make progress - there, see, now I'm doing it!

Thanks for your advice. Unfortunately I don't have a solicitor, so will be going it alone!

Do you have a good friend to go with you? It might be handy to have someone with you to talk things through with and keep you calm.

Consider doing a brief sumamry of requests, with dates, you have made for information together with details, and copies if written, of his responses. Explain what information you have to state his circumstances have changed.

You can send that to the court ahead of the FDR date itself as a Case Summary or Skeleton Argument setting out the situation as you see it.

This enables the judge to read about your case ahead of the hearing and have an idea as to what the current issues are. It also gives you a structured argument to refer to in the heat of the moment when you are in court.

Also look up "McKenzie Friends" on wikipedia, and possibly also here on Wikivorce. This will explain your entitlement to have someone alongside you, as Ephelia refers to.