Lost and confused

Hi Can any one help? I'm not sure what to do next.

I have been separated for almost 3 years now after my husband walked out. I haven't seen, and have hardly heard from him since, until fairly recently. He is now wanting a divorce and a finacial settlement.

I was at first adamant that I would not give him a divorce nor was I willing to pay out for a divorce I did not ask for or want. I don't believe he has grounds for divorce, although, I have grounds on desertion, living apart for over 2 years and probably adultry.

However, after 3 years I though at this stage I should try and come to some sort of financial agreement with him as I didn't want to appear to be stubborn should he decide to take me to court.

However, after taking some advise and not wanting to prolong the agony any longer I have "given in" and agreed to a divorce as well.

I have taken advantage of a free half hour appointment with a solicitor who told me to ask him for details of his pension, Isa's etc. which I have done and he(STBX)has told me he is giving this "his attention".

I have now colated all my details including a CETV for my pension, latest ISA statement, wage slips and bank statements etc. I have also had the house valued (Which by the way I still live in and hope to continue to do so). Basically I need to know what to do next. Like I say I am against paying solicitors fees etc., as I know my STBX is, so I know he will be as as reasonable as possible.

My next visit to the solicitor will cost £50 per hr. and I assume I will have to at least issue divorce procedings? Not sure what "ancillary relieve" is or if this is really necessary in our case? Just to give you a few further details:-

I am 56 and he is 61
There are no dependants
The house is paid for
Neither of us has any debts
I work F/T as an Assistant Accountant
I believe he is still self employed (lectuer)
His pension will be at least twice as much as mine (for the 17 yrs we where married).
I have looked into releasing equity from the house and taking out a mortgage as part of the settlement both of which are possible. My main aim is to stay in the house.
He is presently living in rented accommodation.

What's the best way forward from here please?

S

As you have been separated for over two years this is grounds for divorce if you both agree and why wouldn't you? What can be gained by refusing? Ancillary relief is just what they call the financial settlement discussions. You will need to post a lot more info