Unreasonable Behaviour reasons

i just want to extract myself away from her asap - without causing too much upset - but she has already been telling all her family and friends the reasons i put down --she has to do something to hide the guilt of her affair!!!!

My s2bx's mother told all her catholic family that the father had been abusing the daughter was the reason for the divorce. My s2bx says nothing even remotely of that kind happened.

Peter

Your wife needs a sol, and decent one, to advise her a counter is a bad move. If she counters for the sake of it the courts wont look kindly on her and she will have to prove grounds etcwhich is abit rich when you are kletting her off the adultery and just going for UB.

Perhaps the key learning for all who contemplate this is to show and advise before you file. There is always a risk of a counter but the courts will deal with that.

Law Society and SRA family protocols all advise that the Respondent should be given notice of intent to file.

Too late for you perhaps but learning for those who follow.

Bemused she would rather have adultery than UB but you cant please all.

Chin Up mate...anyway you have filed and if she cant even be bothered to get a sol then she has a steep learning curve if she is going to get a petition in to counter you on her own. If she goes to a decent sol and tells the truth they should tell her its futile.

Keep the (wiki) faith.

alexanda - wise words - but my stbx wont talk to me since i took control of finances and made her stand on her own 2 feet!!!

i tried talking over the weekend - but she doesnt want to listen - i wrote her a letter explaining the reasons for the financial split, the amount i would be paying her, what i expect her to pay for, what i would be paying for on a monthly basis, and that i was going to divorce her for ub - she ignored the letter until last night...

You can lead a horse to water but you canot make it drink - im sure she jus thought i would happily accept the current living situation - and be the mug i have been all these years!! - but NO

Peter
I am with you there. When I cut the finances and made it clear what I was prepared to give and what she had to provide, all hell was let loose. When I left the maritail home she expected me to live like a benedictine monk until a divorce settlement was made. 7 months later we havent even had FDA hearing. Meantime I have made life beareable and she hates it and accuses me of living the life of riley. I dont but I'm not living an a mates floor or anything silly like that for her convenience.

She was the one who wanted out, she started another relationship and concealed it from me but it seems she should suffer no hardship whilst i must take all the incovenience and pain.

Funny old world matey

my husband "invited me" after 2 day split - he told me it was over we both knew and it was pointless talking about it to divorce him on ground of UB. He says the affair I think he may have had that caused the complete change in his personality and him to fall out of love with me - was not an affair because they never slept together (her choice if that was the case). He would rather I not, therefore, divorce him on A'y basis but UB of which I am to decide??? So I am trying to decide on what to put too without p***ing him off too much. He says he will agree on that basis .. big of him that I should be so grateful. Its difficult isnt it. I am still trying to morn my loss for loosing my ever so wonderful husband (pre - inappropriate friend that is) I am glad you can see the positives and see that it will all end up for the best. I hope some day soon, i can have that too - I feel I deserve it!!
good luck

Peter,

I see your post is over a year old. I'd like to think you never read this, the business of divorce being a faded memory, the worry has gone and life's feeling beautiful.

However, if you do happen upon this, 'thank-you' from me. I'm going to cut and paste your post now as the base for my 'unreasonable' reasons.

Here goes...