Promises...

So, last night I went through the direct debits with my s2bx, because I really need to split the current accounts up and get the spending under control (there's around £1000 of unaccounted spending going on somewhere each month and I have only a vague idea where some of it is going).

Some time ago she asked me for a statement that I was not going to force her & the kids to move out. I was happy to write a note saying I had no intention of doing that, but I figured I could wrap that up into a Separation Agreement, but that was more encompassing, and I couldn't do the maintenance bits without having got the spending sorted out etc etc.

I have a draught separation agreement that she hasn't seen yet, that I wanted to get checked over by a solicitor when I've decided what I want to make as an offer, but in the meantime, in order to placate her, has anyone any ideas as to what I could write in a letter to promise I'm not a mean, horrible roof-snatching-away person?

I thought maybe something along the lines of "I recognise and accept my responsibilities under clause blah blah of the blah blah act in that the requirements of accommodation of the children and the parent with primary care is paramount."

Yes, no? Comments?

Hi there

If I am honest, I do not see the need for this if you are close to a separation agreement or Consent Order. I would not advise you to sign anything of that nature until you received the advice you are looking for to ensure that you are on the right lines.

If she needs placating, tell her you are trying your best to come up with a package that includes her staying in the house if possible, and that you will get back to her as soon as you can.

Amanda

And if we are not close to a separation agreement?

If you are not close I wouldn't recommend it as you do not know what is around the corner - for instance, what if you are made redundant next week and can no longer afford the mortgage? Although a note signed in the manner you suggest would not bind you, you could not stop her trying to enforce it within proceedings.

It might just be that I am a cynical lawyer who has cleared up too manny messes that have been created when people try to placate each other . At the end of the day, the ultimate decision has to be yours.

Amanda

If I got made redundant next week I couldn't afford the mortgage whether I was with her or not!