Have been an idiot - Consent Order

Hi, have tried to do the divorce using the DIY route since the S2BX and I seemed to agree on everything and I didn't wan't loads of debt. I've been silly though and tried to be far too reasonable when it's meant I've made it harder for myself.

No kids, reason for divorce is the S2BX's adultery, I'm the Petitioner, we agreed our own settlement (covering the house ownership/equity, savings & furniture). Nisi isn't too far away, but the Ancillary Relief bit of the original Petition was ruled out so making applying for a Consent Order difficult, though I don't know how difficult. Also, although he agreed to pay costs, he wanted to do it informally (ie pay me a cheque) so this wasn't specified in the Petition.

Now he wants to be the one applying for the consent order and he doesn't want to pay for me to see a solicitor as he's so "skint" so I agreed we could put off doing this until a later date since it wasn't included in the divorce application.

The Nisi isn't too far away, but he obviously isn't that skint as he's just bought an engagement ring for the new woman. Now it may be sour grapes (it's not, I'm happy to be rid of him), but he can't be "skint" if he's forking out hundreds of pounds for this. I feel like I'm being taken for a ride on every aspect of the divorce since I've allowed myself to be in a position where it's not formalised that he doesn't "have" to pay, where the Order can be done at his leisure and to his specifications.

So, can I apply for a Consent Order and can I ask the Court to pay for my costs including solicitors fees? Also, can the Consent Order application differ from the original verbal agreement we made and settled (since I've had the equity from the house etc). We originally agreed not to include our pensions but I think that I should get them considered given that the settlement was in my opinion fair but not on the pensions aspect due to the large difference in our incomes.

Lastly, can an Absolute be applied for by anyone or can only the Petitioner apply for it? Just wondering if I have to apply for it immediately once the Nisi comes out.

Help!

When a Petitioner crosses out the Ancillary Relief boxes in the prayer of the Petition they will need to apply to court for permission to start a financial application. If the respondent agrees to the application there is a small fee but if they don't agree it is about 3 times as much.

You can ask for a costs order for the divorce but each party pays their own costs in financial matters apart from exceptional circumstances.

No agreement is binding unless it is sealed by the courts.

These days it is usual to wait until the finances are settled before applying for the Absolute. Either party can apply for the Absolute, the petitioner after 6 weeks and the respondent after another 3 months.

It's worth clarifying that a consent application is based on the premise that the agreement between the parties is ratified by the court which binds both parties to the agreement. You cannot have an agreement then apply to the court for an order which departs from the agreement (unless both parties agree) otherwise it is not a consent application.

The correct procedure is to have an order drafted which can be made to be legally binding by the court and submit that to the court with a statement of information from each party and Forms A markes 'for dismissal purposes only'. The court will then treat the application as one 'by consent' and attempt to deal with the application without a hearing.

However, where parties are acting without legal representation it is not unusual to convene a hearing for the judge to satisfy him/herself that the parties are aware of the ramifications of their action.

It is not enough to write out an agreement and expect the court to stamp it. The order has to be contractually binding otherwise it is not worth the paper it is written on.

Charles

Thanks for the advice both.