Unreasonable Behaviour Grounds

Hi all,

I''m planning to divorce my husband on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. We''re going for a DIY divorce as we don''t want to spend lots of solicitors

I''ve got my reasons but understand there''s a specific way they should be worded.

Does anyone have any examples or advice they can give me please?

Thanks
Amanda

I don`t know if examples would help as each is unique to that marriage, its best to keep them fairly short and don`t mention children or any criminal acts, remember not to use anything from long ago, so don`t say throughout the marriage the respondent husband lose his temper and call me a cow bag.

Only use incidents or behaviour that happened in the six months leading to the Petition or separation.

This is an example of a mild version i wrote as an example.

The marriage has irrevocably broken down.

The respondent has recently started spending more time with hobbies/work including spending time playing golf/darts going to the pub/gym taking unnecessary overtime which takes up 3 nights per week/the weekend.

Due to the behaviour of the respondent the respondent and Petitioner spend less time together. The petitioner feels excluded and isolated from significant parts of the respondents life.

By spending less time together there has been a lack of communication between the respondent and petitioner which has caused a complete breakdown of the marriage.The respondent does not with for the petitioner to be part of his/her new life.

The petitioner does not believe that the respondent wishes for the marriage to work because of his/her attitude towards the Petitioner.

As such the petitioner cannot be reasonably be expected to live with the respondent.

Unreasonable behaviour? "I want to divorce you, whether you like it or not. Therefore, everything that you do, and have done, and which has hitherto been quite acceptable to us both, and has been part of the normal exigency of our marriage and life together, is now causing me a problem, and is therefore unreasonable, because I need an excuse, any excuse, to dump you and do something/be with someone else".

I''m afraid I have always taken issue with the "unreasonable behaviour" gambit, even though in some cases it might be justified.

Just my personal take on it, and I mean to offend no-one.

Chris

Hi
You say that ''we are planning a DIY divorce'' that suggests that both of you wish to end the marriage to some extent. If you search the site there are some examples of unreasonable behaviour that may apply to your situation. The issue with unreasonable behaviour is that regardless of who pettitions who, its not going to make the Respondant appear as spouse of the year. The alternative is a two year wait and using 2 years seperation as a reason. If possible sit down together and try to agree who will Petition and what the reasons will be, that way the situation can be kept reasonably (sorry for the pun) amicable.

LB

Triste en France wrote:

Unreasonable behaviour? "I want to divorce you, whether you like it or not. Therefore, everything that you do, and have done, and which has hitherto been quite acceptable to us both, and has been part of the normal exigency of our marriage and life together, is now causing me a problem, and is therefore unreasonable, because I need an excuse, any excuse, to dump you and do something/be with someone else".

I''m afraid I have always taken issue with the "unreasonable behaviour" gambit, even though in some cases it might be justified.

Just my personal take on it, and I mean to offend no-one.

Chris

Actually Chris you are a little of the mark there. Unreasonable behaviour offers a less complicated and quicker way to divorce. Take the situation of adultery, this carries a high level of proof, would you want a throw back to the bad old days of private investigators bursting in to hotel rooms with cameras flashing ?

LB

Hi Amanda,

My divorce was finalised last November. I''ve barely used this site since, but am now deeply in love with someone else (there''s always light at the end of the tunnel!)

I will copy below the exact email I sent to my ex-wife and solicitor, and these were barely touched by the solicitor when they went into the paperwork. Bear in mind I have copied the text from and email to my ex, so just focus on the points.

All the best and be happy!





Some of the following are relevant to our relationship, in a really small way in most cases, however the wording used to present them is taken from the web. I have then tweaked it to make it relevant to us again. ALL of it is painful to read, for which I apologise.
The solicitor may or may not feel that the wording needs to be altered to make them more ‘extreme’ and to add information from the above, such as how it made me feel. I am happy to do whatever to the wording, as long as the solicitor agrees that it is sufficient.
Another common trick is to use the words “Constantly or continually” to show that the behaviour occurred over a period of time, which adds weight to the case.
• Leaving the flat and marriage to live elsewhere telling the Petitioner that she no longer loved him and didn’t want to sacrifice her lifestyle for the relationship
• Lack of communication of feelings making dealing with marital problems very difficult
• Unwilling to seek help from professionals including relationship councillors either as a couple or alone to help resolve disputes in the relationship
• The respondent and petitioner no longer share common interests after moving in together
• Constantly expressed dissatisfaction at spending time with the spouse, resulting in the petitioner feeling unvalued within the relationship
• Continued to focus on boxing and career when asked to spend more time on the relationship, resulting in the petitioner feeling unvalued
• The respondent repeatedly denied requests from the petitioner for emotional support
• The respondent demonstrated continually that she was unhappy to assist with chores and the upkeep of the marital home
• The respondent has expressed no interest in starting a family with the petitioner
• The respondent broke promises to seek help for emotional issues including with jealousy and trust problems
• The respondent claimed to have sacrificed too much to be in the marriage and as a result berated the lifestyle led by the couple
• The respondent has ceased taking part in social activities with the petitioner causing the petitioner to feel that the respondent has no interest in maintaining a normal family life