New to this :(

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Welcome to wikivorce mummy3. Have you considered relate ? Divorce is difficult for both partners not something to be taken lightly. Why no transport ?

Hi M3,

I strongly agree with Tets. Divorce can be a nightmare in so many ways.

IMHO also think its to easy these days. Especially when I look at both our sets of parenst who are still together.

If there is any chance you could give things another go as Tets mentioned trying relate. I asked my wife if we could try a trial sep period & councilling but she just wasn't interested.

Just asking how long have you felt like this & when did you tell your husband?

The reason I ask is if you had already made your mind up about things a while before you told your husband. You will be a long way ahead of your husband emotionally. Which given he still loves you will be really hard for him to deal with.

You say your jobless. But I would imagine your 3 kids keep you busy enough.

L4N

Have you really thought this through Mummy3? Your Husband loves you and is a good person, surely a relationship like that deserves a chance?
It would be a tragedy if you went ahead with this without at least both going for some sort of Couple Counselling.


All the best, Chris.

No transport because we only have the one car for hubby to go to work.

I've felt like this over the years, and it came to a head in Dec last year. I feel part of the problem is the stress of the kids and no break from it. We're constantly in parent mode. The other part is I don't feel like I'm in love with him anymore. I feel like we've both changed. Our relationship has moved at super speed. Moved in together after 2 weeks of meeting and got married 6 months later. Whirlwind romance. Just stuck in a pit at the moment. Feeling really depressed about it.

Hi Mummy

If you find it tough being a parent at the moment, you may find it tougher being a single parent. You will either end up having the kids most/all of the time (sad fact is that lots of children lose all contact with their fathers within a few years of divorce) OR missing them like mad because they are staying with Dad.

I don't for one minute suggest you should carry on being unhappy.

But you might want to consider sorting out whether you can salvage your marriage before you jump out of the frying pan into the fire.

Counselling for just you or you and your husband would probably help.

Getting a babysitter once a week/fortnight and going on a "date" with your husband would give you some couple time.

You don't say how old your children are, but it won't be long before they are in nursery/school and you will have some time to yourself or to get a job or both.

Hi Mummy3,

I agree with the others, its hard to be happy and 'in love' when surrounded with the day-to-day mundane stuff of regular life.

I suspect, the 'in love' hasn't gone for good - please don't jack it all in hastily, you're feeling down or depressed - this may seem like the only option you have.

Try to explain how you feel to your hubby and maybe go to Relate - it may be tough to get your spark back after looking after 3 kids and him being knackered through work, but together you can work out solutions.

Its maybe not as easy as just having a night out together. Try thinking about the things you both used to do for each other, the ways in which you showed you cared. How can you improve intimacy? What is it you want from the marriage?

Be honest with each other and try and try until you can say for sure it isn't going to work.

No one said it would be easy - but its worth it.