Spousal maintenance

Couple of reasons really.

He enjoys having no ties and being the centre of both womens world. Cake and eat it. Same reason as he enjoys being a dj.

Other reason is he's spent a long time getting out of the relationship and has no desire to go back in any hurry. If he did slip up with his ex it could easily have just been a one off which he regrets.

I think you need to give alot of thought to whats going on, your relationship and what you're getting out of it because to be honest i don't think you're happy with it and that you think there's more to it than he's admitting - the non divorce, present, baby, kissing etc?

T

nbm,

You are right im not happy - but what keeps me going is that i love him and i know he love and adores me.

May be im just not strong enough to take this relationship on especially the wife side of things. My boyfriend learnt to walk on egg shells for 30 yrs - but im not walking on no egg shells around her!

I just don't know how to walk away from someone you love so much?

Girlie

If your partner hasn't got the b*lls to sort out his life properly I can't see much future for you.

I'm sorry but his having to placate the ex is just an excuse to keep you dangling, isn't it?

Your partner can say he loves and adores you all he wants - but it hasn't stopped him and his ex exchanging presents has it? Judge by his actions, not his words. Talk is cheap.

How long are you prepared to stay in this situation?

Hi Nell,

He tells me he is not responsible for her actions? is that not true?

Sorry don't understand what you mean about him keeping me dangling?

Im not being difficult just trying to understand? thank you.

Hi girlie - no, I don't think you're asking too many questions - I'm a firm believer of 'if you have questions - ask them!'

Nbm has it right - it's just the the kind of Qs you're asking shouts out your reservations and doubts.

It seems to me that what you are lacking is some security and commitment. Do you need those things from your partner? Do you feel that you are getting them? Neither of them have started divorce proceedings and yet she is pregnant and with another man - he is with you.

At the very least.... that would ring very loud alarm bells for me. At this point, I would have some expectation that a partner was actively building a future with me and not trailing his ex into our relationship. If I couldn't have that - I would walk away. You are worth so much more than you seem to be getting.

Shezi

Girlie

I mean he is stringing you along, using you to cry on about how difficult his ex is, instead of dealing with it. If neither of them has sorted a divorce yet, clearly they are finding it hard to make the break. I think there's a lot of emotional stuff between them that isn't resolved. He isn't therefore free to have a committed relationship with you, which I imagine is what you want.

Plus, its you asking all the questions. He doesn't seem to be motivated to do it, so how keen is he on sorting things out with his ex?

He isn't responsible for what his ex does, but he is responsible for what he does and how he reacts. I know you aren't happy about this or you wouldn't have posted about it.