xtb is helping himself to mortgage current account

Thanx Pete, I got all productive after reading your reply.
I rang the main Barclays Banking number on a statement and expressed my concern. The chap was a little bemused at the way I was dealt with at my own bank yesterday when I said the chap had told me it was best not to freeze the account.
Anyhoo, he told me that if I go to my bank I can ask them to change the account so that if any activity happens I will be notified immediately as all standing orders/direct debits will need BOTH of our signatures.
All the current DD's/standing orders will be cancelled and will not be able to go ahead without my signature.
As for the total debt already made, well, he said maybe I should get legal advice, as I had already noted to him that I had just made an appointment to see a solicitor.
So, I am off to seek advice on Tuesday to see what a solicitor makes of all this and then I will take appropriate action!

You're brilliant pip. :o)

Will give it a go and get something put down in writing.

As you so rightly said, I know when I once used a credit card quite a long time ago, because I had gone into about three shops in one morning the bank rang me up to make sure everything was ok. I had just gone on a little spending spree as it was my daughters birthday but it was good to know that they do keep an eye.

Unlike Barclays who have never queried the activity on the account, although they could come back saying that it was my responsibilty to make them aware of a separation when the xtb moved out. I know the bank clerk bloke said the reserve account would typically be there for building work and such, not for paying off £3000 credit card bills on more than one occasion.

Anyway, that aside, I'll write something up. Thanks so much for all your help and advice, its very greatly appreciated. :o)

Oh, I dont qualify for legal aid as I am a couple of hundred pound over apparently but will do the calculator myself as it was the solicitor who done it back in 2009. It could have changed but I doubt it which is a shame but never mind!

Latest Update:

I went and saw a solicitor yesterday and if I can prove that xtb is the one that spent the £28,000 on himself then its been made quite clear to me by the solicitor that he will have to pay that debt off (as pip so rightly pointed out) so once the house sells, he gets his share and then £28,000 gets given back to the bank to pay off his debt.
Silly boy! I'm sure he is hoping I would be liable too but alas thats not the case!

Some good came out of the meeting, I am now in the process of filling out form E Financial Statement (what a headache) and then will start mediation with a view to getting a divorce and settling all financial matters.

Not sure mediation is going to work but worth a go...altho not happy about sitting in the same room as him and know that I may become a bit emotional, but at least I wont be alone with him! Trying to sort it out with him alone never worked so willing to give mediation a go...



PS also it was pointed out to me that as the mortgage is joint the bank can allow monies to just go out freely without my consent. Its up to me to inform them of change and that I want to freeze the account or get two signatures. But now I know I dont have to pay this debt back I feel more at ease and know that this is all now going to come out in mediation so will see most probably see his face drop and he will realise how stupid he has been.

Although, I will let him know that if he continues to draw down from this point on then I will freeze the account to protect my own share!

Thanks to all that gave advice and I hope that I have helped a few of you along the way who may be in the same situation.

Please don`t leave it as it is, have the account frozen now, court cannot share assets that no longer exist! to save future complications act now.

I agree with Dukey, I really can't understand why you wouldn't have the mortgage moved to two signatures straight away, your stbx has already shown beyond all reasonable doubt he cannot be trusted, so why give him the benefit of the doubt now?

Simon

I agree with Dukey.

The mortgage is in joint names - this measn that you and your husband have joint liability TO THE BANK.

As between ypou and your husband, it is likely that a court will take into account the fact the he, rather than you, has had the money and would likely say that this (or a significant proportionm of it) should come from his notional share of the assets, not yours, but that isn't much help if there isn't enough to go around to pay this off.

Frezze the account now (or at the very least get it put so that nothing can be done without joint signatures) Ber Aware that the joint signature thig will probably only stop him writing cheques or setting up DD's - may not prevent his being able to withdraw cash using a card, or making card payments, so it is probably better to freeze it altogether. Speak to the bank first about transferring any direct debits etc to a different account firstm, and confirm in writing to them what is being done.

Tell them you are separated and ask for all stateemtns to be sent to you.

It is also worth setting up a current account with a different bank, as this means you don't run the risk of finidng your account frozen or money taken from it if a joint account goes into arrears or if someone (like the first bank employee you spoke to) cocks up.

Mediation can be a very good way to proceed regardless of whether you both struggle to communicate or not. You sound like you want the best and quickest outcome for both of you and you arent looking to put the boot in so to speak - therefore I think you will find mediation a very good way forward. Glad your sol suggested it. It can also save you money as things can be sorted quicker sometimes face to face rather than trading legal letters, which get ignored or misinterpreted and then you have to keep instructing follow ups. So long as you know what you want, are realistic about splits and agreements, can respond appropriately to new information regardless of unpalatable - you will be fine.

Good luck with it
Rasher