xtb is helping himself to mortgage current account

I am feeling so low at the moment and not sure what to do.

xtb moved out march 09.
I am living in the marital home with my two daughters aged 15 and 17.
I work part time but I am looking for full time employment at the moment.
I have just realised after opening a joint statement that the xtb has been comfortably helping himself to a reserve against the house and its now at -£28,000.
The maximum allowed was at £28,000 but I have also noticed that this has been raised to £39,000.
I have not ever helped myself to this account, I am scrimping and scraping, sit in a cold house when my daughters are not here, buy all the Value stuff at the supermarket and there he is raking up a debt of £28,000!!!!!!!!!
I know this will all get paid off when the house is sold but I am so peed off because he says he is skint but had three holidays in a matter of months last year, can afford to socialise whereas I sit at home doing nothing as I cant afford to go out or do any hobbies/classes!
I know he is going to say he had to use it to pay me, he does give me about £200 extra per month but this does go on joint loans etc. I had no idea this was coming out of this joint reserve account.
I feel so sick now and have no idea if I go to a solicitor that they will say I would be able to ask for a bigger cut of the house now when we sell because of what he has done.
He has been paying his debit card out of there too so I cant see what he has been spending all this money on but I know he had to get new furniture for his rented home when he moved out, and with all these holidays and most probably gifts that he is buying for his girlfriend and all the socialising that is going on, am I right in thinking that I've been had for a complete fool?
I cant afford to go see a solicitor...last time I did they advised me to stay in the family home but if he is dwindling away all this mortgage money I dont know what I am going to do when the house gets sold and I have barely nothing to use as a deposit on somewhere of my own!
He is on a much better wage than me, I am desperately looking for a new job although it wont be megabucks whatever I do...once I sell and go my on way he will be ok to get somewhere of his own along with extra income from his girlfriend but I feel I'll be struggling now for the rest of my days! We do not talk to each other, he used to deal with the house and bills so I have been just trying to live quietly with no agro but I guess I am somehow going to have to pull him up on this one but know he is going to make me feel bad whatever!
:o(

Thank you pip, yes, this account is in both names and being the kind of person I am I would never have dreamt to have done what he is doing now.

I have searched and found some of the statements from over the time he left, I shall go to the bank tomorrow to see if they can print me the ones that I am missing and hope to see exactly what he has been filtering all the money on. I know he has to live somewhere but for him to be paying his rent out of this account seems wrong, he moved into a three bedroom house at a cost of nearly £900 per month and seeing as I have my two girls the most it was a bit of a silly move on his part to rent something at such a high price. Having seen his own credit card on there too just takes the biscuit! along with anything else he is using the money on! I just cant believe he has used so much of the money that really is not his to play with in the first place! I have seen that he is now paying something back in but it will never all get paid off, not when he is using so much of it as he is.
I am very greatful for your reply and intend to try and sort this out before he spends any more! :/

MPH, sorry to hear about your situation. My ex did exactly the same thing to me. I wrote to the bank and told them to put a freeze on the mortgage current account so that neither of us can access these funds. Its absolutely galling to be paying a mortgage to find that he has been helping himself to what he probably sees as 'free cash'. I hope you can get your situation sorted asap - keep the mortgage company informed of your situation - I found mine to be very understanding when they had the full facts given to them. Good luck

My STBX did the same. My mortgage provider were happy to freeze the account with a phone call. It will protect you and can be reversed at a later stage if you both agree.

Dont delay

Now you have got me really worried, I've got a mortgage that could have over 100K draw-down, think I'll make a call to the mortgage company and ask them to block any draw-down.
I don't know if its possible, but as an alternative to freezing the account could I simply request that two signatures are required ?

LB

Just been to my bank this morning with whom my mortgage is with. Explained whats going on, that I have had nothing to do with any of the activity on the outgoings on the mortgage reserve whatsoever.
The gent said that as a rule they do not like to freeze an account, so, at the moment the xtb can still help himself and it would require both our signatures to stop the account from being used, and any other accounts with them will also get frozen too, so my account which I opened which has nothing to do with the xtb at all would also get frozen. What a palava!
As I do not speak to the xtb I obviously don't want to run to him yelling, so, first step was to ask for all the statements so that I can take them to a solicitor which are going to be sent to me.
The gent did say that if I can prove that I have not ever taken any money out of the account at all that it could go through court and the xtb would be expected to pay it all back himself.
He also said that the account is there basically for things like building work on the house, not to really dip in to to pay off credit cards and suchllike.
So, I am feeling a bit more positive that I will not lose out when the house gets sold but still need to see a solicitor to confirm things.
Seeing a mortgage advisor next week so will see what thats all about!
Will leave a message here when I have seen a solicitor to let you know whats happening. :o)

What you say is true Pip. Its knowing whether this gent at the bank actually really does know his stuff or whether he was just telling me how he thinks it will work!

I was pleased to hear him say that because I have not been the one spending from the account that I can actually prove that I am not liable but as you say, with my name also on the joint account what bank is going to care who spent what as long as they get their money back.

I also pointed out to him that the limit keeps on increasing, last maximum amount being £39,000. When he logged on to his computer it showed that the limit has now increased to £41,000.

Of course, we all know that when that is reached it will be upped yet again!

According to the gent the maximum limit is increased automatically, so neither of us need to go in to the bank to ask for it to be increased. I guess any bank who lends money knowing they will get it back when the house is sold is not worried about the likes of me, they are only interested in themselves. I have noticed that every single month the interest alone that is being paid back is about £150 so they are definitely making money out of this.

I am now waiting for the bank to send me the statements that I have asked for and then I guess the only thing for it is to actually get proper legal advice before anymore gets dwindled away.

Like you Pip, I am feeling a bit wary about what the gent has told me at the bank today but with it being such a worry I am 'hoping' that things will go my way!