Financial Disclosure

After a "rough patch" several years ago during the "kiss and make up" period and in order to put a fresh start on things my stbx revealed that she had been hiding several credit card accounts from me, under her Maiden Name with correspondence going to another address - not the family home. In an effort not to create more tension and to help "our" situation I decided not to pursue matters - didn't check what the money was being spent on, why or when etc. Silly I now know!!
Question: when we have to make full/final financial disclosure - we will be starting mediation very soon - how can I rely on her integrity to disclosing all financial details??
I am also aware that she has now run up considerable debt on certain credit cards which are held in our "married" name - although I have never used them. Am I responsible for her debt???
How can I find out if she also has c/c's in her maiden name without asking her? Presuming as they are in her maiden name - they cannot be included into overall financial disclosure??

A credit card can only be held in a single name, though it is possible to have an additional card holder attached to an account.

When you say she holds cards 'in our married name' do you mean she has an account as mrs 5masheddreams or is she an additional card holder on mr 5smasheddreams account?

If the former then she is liable, though the debt can be taken into account in the settlement, if the latter then you are liable though again it can be taken into account.

If she has cards in her maiden name then the same is true - she is liable but they can be taken into account. The actual name she uses is not relevant - she can use whatever name she wants to provided she is not attempting to defraud.

Knowing what the credit cards were used for is relevant to agreeing whether they should be taken into account. At one extreme if she used them for online gambling then it is reasonable to want them left out. At the other if she was buying the household food shopping then it would be considered a marital debt and fully taken into account. When you write your questionnaire is a good time to question this.

As far as full disclosure is concerned I have not heard of anyone trying to hide their debts, it would seem pretty pointless. You need to be more concerned if there are any assets she is hiding.

Thanks Luna Shadow,
To be honest I'm not too sure under what name/terms they are held in; they could be a combination of all three - Mrs 5masheddreams (acct holder), Mrs 5masheddreams (additional account holder) or simply in her maiden name.
Without seeing the statements difficult to say what the debt is for; undoubtedly she will say it was to cover her "daily" expenses - but she does get monthly money from me to cover the "daily" family needs (food, household bills etc. etc.) + I pay ALL (& I mean ALL) other bills.
Surely if she has run up the debt for her own personal use/gain use why should I be liable for it? If that were the case then surely she could "spend at will" knowing that I was also liable.
When/if we go to mediation are the debts included within the settlement figures? If that is the case then that would also erode into the final settlement figure for both parties......as the debts will need to be paid off???
I'm really sorry if this sounds like a "money driven" discussion and that I'm trying to protect only my interests but I do feel "miffed" in that I am the one only working (full time) whereas she only works part-time; the "pot" is only so big so if she needed more money why not go out into full time employment? Have asked her repeatedly to do this but to no avail as credit is cheap!!!!!
Again, many thanks for your input as I feel as if I'm standing alone here.

You would know if she was an additional card holder on your account as you would have applied for it, and her transactions would be on your bill.

They will probably be included in the settlement figure, unless you can argue that the spending was solely for her benefit in which case it may be taken from her 'share' rather from the total pot before the split.

I have every sympathy with your position. My ex ran up credit card bills/loans while we were married without my knowledge then only came clean when he couldn't pay the bills. So I did, mug I am. I also paid all bills and he was so comfy he decided not to work full time.

Sorry to add on to this post. Lunashadow thanks for the clear explanation. I applied for a divorce as my ex refused to support us financially during my maternity leave and suggested I use my savings. He only worked enough to support his company which he has interestingly closed suggesting a loss.

I have no idea what he has done with his savings but here is a man who is 4 years older than me in employment even before I graduated stating that he has less than 5k in savings and more debt so needs money from me (RP with delightful toddler! to sustain himself!

Have been for an FDA and the whole process is unjust as they do not seem to review how the finances were conducted during the marriage which may help lend perspective.

Any thoughts?