House sale and CMS payments questions

While kids are with her ideally she needs a 3 bed house. Teenagers having to share when it isn’t something they have done in the past isn’t ideal.

With the mortgage how far are you prepared to go with not paying? Letters will start arriving and it will affect your credit rating. If you’ve loads of equity and keep talking to your lender it is a long process but some people aren’t comfortable and prefer to pay.

Have you considered moving back in? At the moment she has got exactly what she wants, you gone but the same lifestyle. With CM she actually has more disposable income now!

Could you afford to buy her out and stay there yourself? That could be the quickest, and cheapest, option.

A session with a counsellor or mediator might help her see the light if she agrees.

Thanks, first of all, can we remove the lost from the last poster? Looks like trolling/spam.

I have a question. The CMS payment is rather large (4 figures) can I ask her to use that to pay the mortgage?

So basically -

She pays her half
My CMS covers my half
She pays the bills etc.

I paid the deposit for the house and all of the mortgage and bills since purchase, if I'm not having use of it for the time being, surely she is liable for the rent of my half? Especially when as she's not actually don't anything but sign a mortgage agreement and solicitors docs during purchase.

Thanks!

Usual rule of thumb is whoever lives there pays all the bills.

As you say she isn’t paying you half the market rent for the use of your share.

If you carry on as you are, paying everything, there is no incentive for her to do anything as it is the perfect situation for her.

Ultimately, I like her to see the light and agree to sell. Pushing her to basically pay for everything may do that but may have other consequences:

- Not pay, default, though this may (will) mean losing the house.

- Make access to kids hard.
- combo of the above.

My worry is that I've read there are powers mortgage providers can invoke against a partner like remove the suffering (?) partner from the mortgage to make me fully liable or courts can even transfer the equity effectively giving her the house. However, there is the argument the mortgage payments are being provided with the CMS.

Why would a lender want to increase their risks by releasing one party to an agreement from their obligations? We see the opposite on here all the time where people have to stay on a mortgage on the house they don’t live in as the lender won’t release them.

If you speak to your lender to keep them informed of the situation and there is equity in the house, any negative action by them or defaults are a long way in the future. They don’t go for repossessions overnight!

You know your ex and if they are the type of person who will use the kids as a weapon and expects you seeing them to be some sort of pay to view arrangement then it is going to happen sooner or later anyway.

It looks like she doesn’t want the status quo to change, why would she? You need to take some positive action which may cause short term pain but at least you will have it all sorted rather than hanging around you for years.

Through some friends I've heard she's considering a non molestation and occupation order to keep me out of the property should I choose to move back in.

From what I've read she could just make up some nonsense to show that I'm volatile or bad tempered. We've had police called once (I called as she was aggressive) though the officer said he could have arrested me as she claimed I pushed her. So reading all the material out there she could use this which is rather scary tbh.

From the experience on here, how easy are these to obtain? From reading on the internet, it appears it's an easy way to make things difficult without needing too much proof for 6-12 months.

Thanks.