House sale and CMS payments questions

Hello,

Looking for advice, not married but have been together for 18 years, separated 3 months ago.

We own the house and joint tenants, a healthy amount of equity.

I'm currently still paying the mortgage, bills etc whilst she and kids (teens) live there. She's now claimed maintenance which is just cheeky.

My questions, I'd be grateful for any help:

1. Will the children stop the house sale if I attempt to force it via courts? Her half of the equity will be enough to house them in rented for at least 5 years, she also works (50k pa approx) she can't afford to buy on her own but technically the sake will provide plus any maintenance she'll get.

2. In the interim, is there anything I can do to stop or reduce the maintenance. she's living there for free essentially. I don't want to stop paying the bills/mortgage until I have my own place and sort out children staying over (currently with brother) to keep seeing my kids easily. CMS have suggested stop paying - I can see her going nuclear and not paying her half of the mortgage.

3. She's never paid any of the mortgage (or rent in the past) or bills since the start of the relationship. Given this, is there a way I could claim more of the equity? I'm happy to leave her some as goodwill.

Thanks for any advice.
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If you aren’t married then you will have to use TOLATA property laws to force any sale which could be expensive.

If you’re not living there then don’t pay her bills.

If you own the house as joint tenants then, unless there is something in place, it will be 50/50 regardless of who paid what. You won’t be able to claim more, or any of her assets, as you are not married.

She isn’t liable for half the mortgage. You are both responsible for the full amount and if it isn’t paid the lender can chase both of you together or either of you individually to get their money.

Normally whoever stays in the house pays the full mortgage while things are getting sorted. After all she isn’t paying you half the market rent for your half.

How much is the maintenance compared to what you are currently paying to service the house? Sounds like she may have cut her nose off to spite her face.

I'm a reasonably high earner and so the maintenance payments coincidentally are almost equal to half the monthly mortgage. Effectively I'll be paying her to pay her half. Then the bills will hit her on top, so approx £700 extra for her to pay.

I'm not sure she'd agree to pay the full mortgage for the time being and she won't be able to afford it on top of the bills and other living expenses. I've not spoken to my lender but is there a process where I can arrange to pay half and they can contact her for the rest officially? At the moment it will be me adjusting the standing order and then letters dropping through the door demanding the outstanding amount. Or is there a way I can ask them to contact her for the full amount.

Also, in terms of forcing the sale, I know it's case by case, but is the large amount of equity a reasonable argument to demonstrate the kids won't be left without a home? I'm even happy to offer the deposit amount and first months rent for the rental.

In the event where she is allowed to stay and we can't sell till the youngest is 18 (2028) will she be liable for the full mortgage? The older child is 18 next summer so the payments will drop off considerably.
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Thanks.

If you contact your lender they may agree reduced payments, interest only or a payment holiday but will probably want to carry out a financial assessment to see why you can’t afford the full amount.

As I’ve already said there is no half each with joint mortgages. Your both jointly and individually responsible for the full amount. They can pursue either or both of you for payment. They tend to concentrate on whoever is most likely/able to pay.

It must be a very large mortgage if she can’t afford to pay it on a £50k salary plus tax free maintenance payments. If you try to force a sale she won’t be allowed to stay if she can’t afford to pay the full mortgage and running costs from her own resources so a sale is more likely.

How much is a three bed house in your area?

I could carry on paying as is, but that's not something I want to do (who would?) I'm just trying to keep things calm for the kids sake for now.

She never contributed to fixed bills and I've had enough - the whole separation is her idea.

I don't really want to change terms on the mortgage, just sell up. And yes, I understand we don't each owe half, it just needs to be paid.

A 3 bedder where we are is anything between 550-700k plus, rent approx 2-2.5k pcm. She can get away with 2 beds which are around 4-500 less.

With my CMS payments at 100% and her salary she should be able to pay the mortgage/rent and run the household but only just be washing her face, no holidays, meals out or contingency. But I'd like 2-3 nights access a week and that's where she'll fall over.

It's a fairly hefty mortgage and she's had the luxury of having a large disposable income (approx 60-70% of take home) due to never contributing to mortgage or bills. I'm just worried she'll just step back, let it go and let the state care for her - odd I know, but I'm certain she has a personality disorder of some sort.
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Is the current house bigger than her needs?
If so that is another reason to support an early sale.
Where are you living now?
How far are you prepared to go with not paying the mortgage?
Sounds like she needs a reality check as going forwards things are going to have to be different. Have you considered mediation or counselling to facilitate this?

The house is 4 bed, detached, so bigger than required for her now, are there any minimums that courts will allow? I'd say 2 bedrooms are enough.

I'm living with my brother, who is about an hour away from my property and it's a pain arranging contact because of this.

As for how far with the mortgage, what are you referring to? I'd like to drop half the payment amount as I'm not there plus the bills and then my CMS should cover the remaining payments in the interim.
I'm not willing to let her stay till both kids are 18. She thinks she has some right to live in a house she's not paid for just because the kids stay with her and being a woman. She says she'd only move if she could buy which is unrealistic for her, I stated nobody has a right to buy and your equity share, maintenance and salary should allow her to comfortably live till the last child leaves home for uni in 4-5 years. I'm sure in that time she'll meet someone else anyway and it won't be an issue. I need the sale to allow me to live closer to the kids for the next few years.

I'm considering mediation, but as there is only the house to split (unmarried, joint ownership) I'm not sure how much they can help, I suppose they might give her a nudge to wake up and realise the real world doesn't play out like a soap opera??!!