Joke for the day

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room,
talking about life... In-between, we talked about the
idea of living or dying.

I said to her:

'Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally
dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle.

If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect

all the contraptions that are keeping me alive,

I'd much rather die'.

Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of
admiration towards me...and proceeded to disconnect

the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer,

the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went

to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!

*....I ALMOST DIED!!!*

Last year I went to my wife's school re-union with her. There was a guy there who was as drunk as a skunk, staggering about with a big silly grin on his face.

I asked her 'Do you know this guy?'

She blushed a little and said 'Yes, he was my ex-boyfriend. He got drunk after I finished with him, and they say he hasn't been sober since'

It amazes me how anyone can celebrate for that long...