Another stat for the forum

hello all,

i suppose this is the best part of the forum to bear my thoughts and story, will try not to bore you all, but it may turn out long.

So 38 year old male, married for 12years, together for 14. Divorce is happenig because of me, i strayed. Our marriage was always rocky but never enough to make any of us stray, lots of flirting when out. Have seperated once before for about 6 months, but wife asked me back, think it was because I agreed to a divorce. So what happened this time, i had a one night stand with a fellow worker. She found out about this last Monday past, came into work place, clothes ripped up in black bag and emptied onto floor, got a belt round the lug for my trouble as well.

I moved back to parents as per usual, slept on spare bed in living room, was there for 3 days, she text saying for me to come back and she will move out, found out that she was moving into a flat of this guy that she has known for years, flirted with before, is she sleeping in his bed??? She would pop back in mornings to put kids to school and then bath them at night then leave to goto his flat. I thought we were getting on better, until this morning, she gets a call from someone saying that I have been seeing this girl for longer than a 1 night, she blows up, got all the usual stuff. She says she was about to move back tonight but on hearing this news it wont happen now and she will be looking for divorce now, divorce wasnt mentioned last week. A lot of you have hurt me and I cant forgive you, i said we could start again and fix what was broken that drove me to stray in the first place.

Anyway she is now on anti dep tablets, we were speaking amicably tonight, although she was throwing in the usual jibes about how much better this other woman would do things.

So thats the end of the story, i dont think she will go through with it and i think given her time she will come around, like she did last week. We both say we love each other, so if thats the case why cant she come back and work on it, or is she still in the pain and angry side of things. If the papers did come through and i signed them, should she decide to come back to me how long would it be before you could cancel the divorce or how far before you cant do anything to it. I will now just wait and see what happens, wont force her or ask her, she has asked me to leave the house but i have said no, kids are here as well. She has somewhere to go the way I see it.

Sorry for the long story.

Can't B

Whats going on with you two? If you love one another why all this crap?

Don't mean to be rude but why not just sort yourselves out by going to see someone like a relate councellor.

Def need to get your stuff together or split because you are killing your kids with all this... think of them instead of yourselves!

David

You don't have the least bit of remorse for your action of infidelity.You take no responsibility for it.Saying that her actions DROVE you to it.I had to go to my parents as per usual so its like how inconvenient.
No mate you are not only a husband but a father maybe you ought to think about keeping it in your pants the next time things get a bit tough.Coz there's a load of little people who have to suffer the fall out of selfish parents decisions to shag around the minute they feel like it.
FFS if I was your ex and read that post that attitude wouldn't inspire me not to divorce you.

Haway
Amen bro!
The truth is sometimes ugly but no matter what it looks like it will always be the truth...
David

sorry but is this a serious post?

there are very few posts on here that get my goat but this one has. as the other posters say, keep it in your pants - what on earth do you expect her to do. read your post, then read it again and again until you get it. when you do you then and only then will you be able to move forward. if i was her, divorce would be the only option. once, mistake, twice you are taking the mickey!!!