new to here! Hiya!

Hi all,
Just wanted to introduce myself. Im new here!

My situation at the moment is I have only been married 2 and a half years (been together nearly 7) but since november I have been struggling with my stbx and life has been a living hell. We tried councilling but he hasnt listened to the good and only took on board the bad things i said and has twisted them. He has now left me saying he doesnt love me any more, I have no idea what went wrong and am finding it very hard to accept.
When i moved in with him I moved 120miles away from alot of good friends and completely started again with him. Now i feel like he cant have ever loved me enough and why did he marry me. Although i have some friends here Im really struggling with terrible loneliness and depression. I feel like i have given him everything and i have nothing left to give. He has said some terribly hurtful things and been very cruel but i would still take him back tomorrow. He of course wont even contemplate it. I just feel like i must me such a horrible person and that nobody likes me now. I cant face going out (although it would seem hes out every night).

It hurts so much and im just wondering if anyone has any tips to be able to move on quickly or stop it hurting so much. I dont want to feel like this for ages.

Thanks for reading, sorry its long!
xx

Hi welcome to wiki

Everything you said is how most people on here feel when they first join wiki.4 months is'nt a very long time you can't expect to be over him in that short peroid of time there is no magic wand to wave for you to get over him any quicker although always wondering what he is getting up to certainly slows the healing process down, as you know staying in is not going to help, you will just get you down and then everything feels like ground hog day.If you want to why not come into chat and speak with some peeps and when a big wiki event goes up put your name down and you'll meet loads of new friends.

Hi Rustic

welcome to wiki. Like you i had a short marriage - 2 1/2 years before it broke down and we had been together for about 8years. and to be with my ex i moved about 1800 miles away from my home and family.

i do understand where you are coming from. You have found a good place here to find support. You cannot move quickly from all of this. It is a long rollercoaster with ups and lots of downs. But do not get discouraged!!!

It will get better and you will move. If you want feel free to PM me.

Take care
Claudette

I know your pain Rustic, been there, as have most people on here, and it aint no bundle of fun is it?

The hardest part about moving on and starting to feel better is acceptance. Once you can accept the fact it's over, then you start to turn the corner. It's hard I know, because you just want back what you had, but at some point, you have to face it I'm afraid.

Also, you need to accept the fact that your hurting. Dont put pressure on yourself to get over it quickly, it takes as long as it takes. Just take it a day at a time, dont think ahead, just think about getting through today.

Action preceeds emotion Rustic.At first your mind works against you.It doesn't want to do the necessary work. Bit like taking up jogging! lol, seems dam near impossible at first, but if ya stick at it you get results! Even though you dont want to, you have to get up, clean the house, go to the shops, visit a friend, get busy living! Then you will start to feel better.

Take care

Jim.

Hallo and welcome Rustic

My husband left me after we'd been together 31 years and yes, I did feel there must be something wrong with me - but I've turned it around.

I am a worthwhile person. He treated me badly. So the problem was him, not me. He has someone else, but they are living in an unreal world because he hasn't dealt with any of the problems we had in our relationship and is just on his best behaviour with her - he can't keep that act up forever.

I have moved on by having counselling, taking anti-depressants and making the effort to go out, even when I don't feel like it. The a-ds don't change everything, they just enable me to think more positively.

I've joined a book club and a film club, so I've met folk with similar interests to me.

I've contacted all my old friends and met up with them. Interestingly many of them are having marital problems too, which has helped me to realise it isn't just me!

And tonight I am going to my very first Wikivorce meet in London.

I know the feeling!!!, i'm going through a simular thing now, my wife says she doesnt love me anymore. We're both stressed with our 2 1/2 yr old girl, she's stressed out at work, but wont talk to me!. Now she wants me to move out, (i moved into her house when we married) and went to see a friend this morn only to go to her parents house 220miles away!. Tips!, its Not you!, Smile, etc, take time to breath, thats what i'm doing tonight, with a beer or glass of wine.
Neil