stupid question

"HOW DO I FIND MATES ????" when we met back in 1991 I used to have loads of mates and go out loads, But loves a funny thing I met her, fell in love, gave it all up for marriage and kids , buying houses bieng a parent and its been brilliant and I never looked back but now..... "out of nowhere" were splitting up ( apparently ) and Ive got no one , wish my eldest lad was a year or two older I,d go for a pint with him , I really did fully turn my back on everone - and havent got anyone to hang out with ,
The lads at work are all workin mens club types - and I,m sorry but I just cant ......
I wouldn`t dare contact old mates "HI its me remember 18 years ago we used to hang out....hello ..hello ... ??
Dont say join a club , Imagine some stuffy church hall full of train spotters .
And I HATE FOOTBALL so that male bonding down the terraces is out ?????any ideas ???
Everybody has a mate to get em through this - I,m bricking it .
Cheers Chris

Hi chris, you and me the same chris.
All my 'current' mates are in the same boat I was 6 months ago, house young kids, busy busy, taking kids here and there, sat night, lucky if you get a take away before goiing to bed at 10pm. All the mates I had left us alone a I was a family. My family friends now, dont think its a good idea to be going out with a newly single bloke, there other half thinks they might pull too! huh not yet I dont think.

steve

similar but different - struggle to get out as have kids 24/7 - however a) in my town there is a singles group that meet in a wine bar once a month which i have considered b) what about a salsa / latin american dance class - i won't go as they suggest you need a partner and i know the shortage of partners will be shortage of males ( i suggest this - not as a way to meet women - just to get out and feel needed) c) what about finding out if there is a wiki bloke/girl near you? Lonely isn't it! Kate

I think you hit the nail with wiki peeps, we are all 'tryers' as i say, maybe we should upset the balance of the world. The balance seems to be kept so because as we all know there are bad people and good people who get together, this might mean a balance for a while but sooner or later it tips, so what if the good people get together and the bad people, well they can return to the caves.

I remember reading somewhere on Wiki about having more information about where peeps were in the country (i.e. the County/Town) rather than just England/Wales etc.

That might help Wiki peeps to meet up a bit easier.

I have been to one wiki event which was great, and have had to cry off the one tomorrow in London, but it would be good to have more small events, and an easier way of getting together with fellow peeps!

S

You won't make friends by saying "I can't go out with work mates because" "I can't ring friends from 18 years ago because" etc.

You won't get anywhere by saying "I can't".

Try "I can give workmates a go" (nothing to lose but a wasted few hours)

Try "I could ring my friend X" (if X is a good friend s/he will be glad to hear from you - and for all you know s/he may be going through divorce themselves - and if not, well, that's just a minor rejection from someone you haven't bothered with for a while so nothing lost there either).

I've contacted every person I ever sent a Christmas card to whose contact details I still have. Guess what? Every one of them replied and was chuffed I'd bothered to make contact. Three of my female friends were disatisfied with their marital relationships too and wanted to offload to me as much as I wanted to offload to them.

I joined a bookclub = met lots of people I wouldn't necessarily have met any other way. They aren't friends, but they are people I'm glad to meet up and talk with once a month.

Just be more positive and open and you will find things improve. Go places on your own - you'll see there are lots of others on their own too.

I got on face book and tracked people from 18 years ago and caught up with them, which was a laugh! I was so naughty when I was younger now i'm the grown up lol!
Like no regrets says just go for it. I found myself hanging out with some right wallies but i'm so grateful to them for getting me out.

xxx