I'm new to this site

Hi everyone

I'm recently separated and I realise that I'm pretty clueless. At the end of January this year, my wife of 11 years announced that she was leaving me. She left a week later. The whole thing was a total shock and I had no idea that anything was imminent although I was fully aware that we weren't completely happy.

There is no third part invovled on either side - it seems she felt neglected and, I suspect, bored. We are trying to remain in civilised contact and would prefer to sort as much of the divorce out ourselves.

My huge concern is about how much I'm likely to have to pay out. I think I understand about Separation Agreements and the various legal stages of the divorce process.So I'll be posting questions on the financial area of this site.

Kadunaman

Hi kadunaman

Welcome to Wiki. Sorry to hear of your recent seperation, 11 years is a long time, but you have come to the right place for support. Wiki people are very friendly and are here for each other. We have or are all going through similar circumstances to you.

It is good to have a place to vent if you so wish, creating a blog is one way, and you have the choice whether or not to publish it or keep it private, (just check the relevent dot when you are done). Chat is also a really nice place to be for instant support, general chat or sometimes just socializing to give yourself a break from the stresses.

Take care
79fw

Hi Kad

Welcome to Wiki. 79 said it all really! It is a very difficult process passing through separation and divorce. But you wont have to face them all on your own. There is a lot of support on this site.

if you post your financial information, i am sure that more knowledgabel wiki members will be able to give you feedback.

Take care
C

kadunaman wrote:

There is no third part invovled on either side - it seems she felt neglected and, I suspect, bored. We are trying to remain in civilised contact and would prefer to sort as much of the divorce out ourselves.

Kadunaman

Kaduman

I know where you're coming from - to play the devil's advocate - has it been 'bad' for a while? - if not, then unfortunately I suspect that there may be someone else involved - it could be an 'emotional' or a 'physical' dalliance that has led her to this decision.

My position was the same 8 months ago - no one else on both sides, our marriage wasn't good for a while - this has now been corroborated by the fact that she has registered on dating websites - ie. she is now actively looking to date and therefore I can only believe her that there was no one else (except for her mother who I believe drove her to this point (ex m-i-l has been married 3 times) - kids have said nothing about anybody else - so far!

Divorce is really crap, if you can avoid it then try and work on your marriage.

Take care

dd