I wish I didn't need to be here

Hi smithy and welcome to wiki

Adultery is the worst form of betrayal and pain. I truely believe if my husband would have died it would not have hurt as much as discovering his lies and deceit.

It is all very raw for you and early days but you have made a huge step in realising that it's over, it takes most of us alot longer to accept that fact.

Be prepared for harder times ahead, the initial couple of weeks i found i was quite numb and in shock, i was in denial though. It was after about 3 weeks that it really hit me and i was in bits.

Wiki is a great place for support either by posting, blogging, reading other peoples posts or by calling into chat. Chat is a great place if your feeling down, you can just sit and listen, join in with the banter or talk about how your feeling. There is always someone to listen.

Take care and hope to see you in chat soon

Dawn x

Thanks Dawn,

I'm a bit scared about that "3 weeks" thing though. I hope this is the worst I feel, and start feeling better from now. I don't think I will be able to cope with going any lower.

Hi Smith

Welcome to Wiki. This is truly a good place to be in - as u can see already lots of support here.

I cannot imagine how confusing this must all be for you and your kids. you ll need to focus ur attention now on you and them - they will give you the strength u need to face each day as it comes.

yes it will hurt like crazy, and there will be days you ll feel that its just not worth it any more - but it does get better!! u just need to give urself some time.

u know..i actually once told me ex, that i would have preferred if he had died so then i would be a widow and not a divorcee..oh well.. that was another lifetime for me...

you will get there!

take care
C

Hi, Smith. My timeline is basically the same as yours. This is Day 5. I keep trying to play this mental game wherein I believe my wife was killed in an accident. It would be easier to deal with than carrying the knowledge that she consciously rejected me.

Your description of your wife always "going over the top" with her friends has resonance. Upon taking her new job, my wife became .. infatuated, for lack of a better term, with a female co-worker. Far from being romantic (I think), but this new force in her life coincided a little too neatly with her decision to leave. I suspect they're sharing an apartment somewhere in the city.

I, too, am not looking forward to the 3-week abyss, and I hope it doesn't come.

You sound like a thoughtful guy. Hang in there. You are not alone.

Peter