Hi, am new here and stumbling a bit!

Hi, finally decided after over 4 years of purgatory, separation and living out of a bag, that despite my heinous indiscretion that the current situation is not fair to either of us. Have taken the leap, and whilst aware that the future is uphill, I believe this to be the best option in the long run. I am unsure as to my rights, concerned about the kids and being able to afford just to exist let alone live, but can't be any worse than being and making others miserable.
Am not sure how this is supposed to work i.e. blog, threads, support advice etc as have never done such things so any support anyone could offer to get me on my way would be gratefully received. Many Thanks
Have read a few other posts now and figure that a little more info seems the done thing.
I had an affair a few years ago whilst the marriage was going thru an emotional slump, it involved a few liaisons and I got stuck in a rut. Having got caught out, and after a bit of work the marriage resumed on strict terms, i was to move out, continued to fulfill my financial obligation towards maintence and keeping a roof over the kids head. The relationship yo-yo'd between me being there alot, the relationship going into reverse, me moving out and then things becomeing fresh again. She told me she was no longer in love and whilst we talked about counselling, never got round to it as things always seemed to improve for a bit. Anyway, having once again asked for distance last year, i only go round to hers when she asks or when the children need to be looked after whilst she works. There has been virtually no physical relationship, affection except for kisses goodbye, everything seems to be lip-service to a memory. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel sorry for myself and have always defended her actions and feelings when talking with my frineds and family, but how long can this continue. all i ever wanted was to make good the damage and hurt I caused and see her happy, alas that doesn't seem to be the case when I am there. As for talking, the word ostrich springs to mind, ignore and it will go away. I have now had to make the decision that she can't, things have to finish in order for us both to be happy. She thinks I am seeing someone else, and I fully understand why, thing is I'm not. Am i being unreasonable or unfair, is there light at the end of the tunnel? Where do I go from here? The real question is why do i suddenly feel as tho a burden has been lifted if the decision to split for good is not a wise one?

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce
No one can decide for you whether or not you should end your marriage, but it seems you are coming to that decision.


There are 3 bits to this

a) the finances
if you post info about how long you've been married, children's ages and your and wife's respective incomes and outgoings, people can help with financial info.

b) the actual divorce which is the legal bit saying your marriage no longer exists. This involves form filling and various dates etc, all of which you can find info about on here

c) the emotional bit
which I think is often the toughest bit! Lots of support here for that too.

Your local library will have a range of books on all these aspects too, which you can borrow free.

The more you and your wife agree on things the easier and cheaper everything will be.