hi

hi everyone well where to start?this hurts like hell,ten years ago my wife had an afair and to cover her actions told friends and family I had drove her to it,after six months her mother phoned to say it was over and perhaps i should go and talk,i went back I say for our kids but if i am honest I was really scared of being alone.we left the place where we lived and moved away for a fresh start in april 2000.three years ago after re training my wife started a new career as a nurse, suddenly she refused to wear her ring using all sorts of excuses,for the past three years i have given all i can emotionally and financially yet and this may sound a bit soft from a 44 yr old man, i have had no love at all neither physical or emotional. this last mothers day I decided to talk it over with her and it was then she said that i didnt trust her and she was leaving.she constantly received text messages from friends"at work and any social times consisted of her going out whilst i stopped with the kids,she has now left and probably spun another tale to her family as they are buying her all sorts of things to furnish her rented house.i have just filed a divorce application,but why the hell do I Miss her. this hurts so much.will it ever get better
thanks for taking the time to read this
montydog

Monty - cheaters always say they were driven to it to avoid taking responsibility and the guilt. No matter what she has done it hurts because you love her. That has been demonstrated by you giving her a second chance. We all identify with the hurt. You have a rollercoaster ride ahead - a phrase you hear a lot on wikivorce - i didn't believe it when it first happened to me but believe me - it does slowly get better. Come into chat sometime and let off steam. Katie

Hi monty,

Its early days for you and there will be a lot of readjustments to contend with. Try to be gentle with yourself...no matter how we get the pain...it hurts the same.

Elle x

katie ,thanks for your reply, i made the mistake of meeting a friend for coffee today but relly blew it as all i talked about was my ex,i am a very shy person and although i have my children whenever i want i feel lost and alone

It takes time to get over a break up.

To avoid boring your friends, pop on here to vent - we can all identify with it.

Or you could try writing your feelings in a letter, just to get them out.

keep posting and pop into chat when you want to "talk".

Hi nice to meet you!
My hurt is fairly fresh too but the fog is slowly (very very slowly) clearing. I cant see my future yet im still a bit im limbo but im hurting less. Its time im afraid, no easy way.

Best thing to do is keep posting, reading and listening to people on here. We have all been through similar hurt and wont judge. Apart from anything else i found this site made me feel less alone.

Keep posting, hope you feel better soon. Till then look after yourself and keep chatting on here! You can let off alot of steam too!

Take care
J

The texting is evil imo as it sets up another to be the confidant. If it is to work, your spouse has to be the person you want to talk to, not your IM buddies. At least this is what I feel is one of the things that led to my wife leaving. Peace,
TommyK