it only lasted 5 months!!!!

Where did it all go wrong? Married at the age of 25 and over at the aged of 26, my marriage only lasted 5 months and I¡¦m now living back home with the parents. I haven¡¦t seen my wife now in 3 months and I thought I was doing OK, but for some reason it has hit me hard and I am missing her.

There is no way back. When I married her last year, I also ¡¥married her mum¡¦. I had a few disagreements with her mum after the marriage, nothing bad (for example, when I come home from work, she is just sitting in my house, she just basically lets herself in any time she wants). My wife took her mums side and now wants nothing to do with me. My wife is in her 30s and the problem is, I don¡¦t think she has ever said ¡¥no¡¦ to her mum and never will.

Anyway things have got nasty now and they are playing lots of nasty tricks on me, which is quite upsetting and sad, so I thought I¡¦d come on here to meet some nice people ƒº

Crikey. Thats a short marriage. Amazing how quickly a castle made of sand falls down. Sorry that you have to be here. But hey we are nice people. Welcolm to the site. C

Gosh! I know the mother-in-law from hell is a bit of a cliche - did you foresee problems before you married?

Is it possible you and your wife could make a go of it if you moved away from her mother, assuming you could get her to agree?

I am sorry, I adored my mil and miss her like mad though she's been dead for 15 years.

Welcome to Wikivorce anyway.

gap28 wrote:

I also ¡¥married her mum¡¦. I had a few disagreements with her mum after the marriage, nothing bad (for example, when I come home from work, she is just sitting in my house, she just basically lets herself in any time she wants). My wife took her mums side and now wants nothing to do with me. My wife is in her 30s and the problem is, I don¡¦t think she has ever said ¡¥no¡¦ to her mum and never will.
Anyway things have got nasty now and they are playing lots of nasty tricks on me, which is quite upsetting and sad,

Boy, do I know where you're coming from!!! - same here, though I'm 8 months down the line, it still sucks! - I have a plan to get m-in-l at some point - slowly, slowly catchee monkey.....

It is sad, very sad, but as long as the children are ok, not used as pawns then all should be ok

take care, and keep on posting

dd

Hi gap,
Lovely to meet you!!
I know what you mean! My FIL was one of the contributing factors that wrecked my marriage! I really should have seen it coming, since i moved in 5.5 years ago hes made my life hell! He controls everything my husband does and never liked me because he couldnt control me. They work together so i couldnt get my STBX away.
Since we split up Ive seen all those traits in my STBX. Hes lost control now and is just vile whenever he rings me. Im just at the point of acceptance ( some days more than others) and just beginning to think im better off out of there. Although Im in no way over it as such, its just that there is a little glimmer of hope now.

I dont know how old your MIL is but if shes likely to be around a long time then perhaps its better to have happened now rather than later??? I know that wont be what you feel at the moment...

All I can say is ive had alot of help and support from the people on here. People who have been through all sorts of things and that know how you feel and wont judge you.

Keep posting you are NOT on your own.

J

Thanks for you kind words.

it's just a shame i couldn't see that the Mum in law would be a problem once we got married. Too be honest, she was OK up until we decided to get married, thats when little things started to happen like, telling me what to eat and trying to pick my groom suit for my wedding day

I think the problem is, her mum has no brothers/sisters/uncles/aunties/nieces/nephews etc etc, all she has is my wife and she controls her life. the minute i married her, she tried controlling me and even wanted me to break away from my own family!!!

its sad as my wife can't see it. I would never make her choose between me and her mum, but i would expect her to speak up to her mum now and then.

Around xmas time, i told her mum in a polite way she needed to "back off a little", i told her how much we love her and how we are always there for her, but i also explained this was the start of me and my wife building a life together. Anyway, she hated me after that!

The most upsetting thing is, now that we are over, her mum is out to ruin me and is telling my wife/her daughter what to do.

i am now kicking myself, as i feel if i didn’t speak up over xmas, then we may be together now!