Considering Divorce / Legal Seperation but

Hello everyone,

I separated from my wife in September 2007, on the grounds of me having an extra marital affair. I am currently living alone in rented accommodation whilst she lives in the family home with my two children who are aged 15 and 13.

When I left, I voluntarily agreed to pay 73% of my monthly net income to cover the mortgage, all insurances, council tax, utilities etc. This equates to approximately £2452 per month of my £3368 net income and leaves me with nothing to save or 'live life' on, once my own rent and living expenses have been paid out each month. At times I have to borrow from friends or use a credit card (carefully) to support myself when a shortfall exists.

This agreement is based on a 'handshake' only and has never been formalised. The CSA have not been involved.

My wife works part time and receives family tax credits.

We have no savings or assets apart from the house, which has an element of equity and my wife’s car, which I paid for.

My financial situation was just about workable and bearable because my wife and I have maintained a good relationship, which allowed me to spend time at the family home on a weekly basis, both together and with the children and things were more than amicable. We were slowly working towards a reconciliation, which looked positive but she has very suddenly met a new partner who is extremely wealthy, (immaterial I know) and she has told me that we have no future together. My wife and her new partner are not yet cohabiting.

This has all happened extremely quickly and the situation is 'heated' and I have become very resentful on the basis that, under the current financial arrangement, I have no means to live my own life and feel completely trapped and unable to move forward for myself. This is exacerbated by the wealth, which my wife's new partner possesses and the life she will and has already started to lead.

She has told me that she has no intentions of moving or changing her circumstances and that she expects me to maintain all of my financial commitments as they stand.

At this stage I / we are unsure which path to take with regards divorce or legal separation and have not yet sought any legal advice, hence my posting today.

The bottom line for me however is whether I am justified in attempting to legally reduce my financial commitment on the basis that I may be paying more than is considered reasonable, (and I have no idea whether I am or not in the eyes of the law / state), and the best way that this can be achieved to avoid unnecessary conflict and ensure my children are protected. With this in mind it is my sincere wish to avoid selling the family home so the mortgage will remain although I am unsure whether the 'state' can assist my wife with this in any way or whether other options are available, should it be considered my contribution is too high.

Any advice would be greatly welcome so that I can start to understand what my options are and hopefully see some positives, prior to seeing a solicitor.

Please note that I have posted here initially, by way of an introduction, but will redirect to a more appropriate section if required.

Many thanks for your advice in advance.

Steve

Hallo Steve

CSA would expect you to contribute 20% of your earnings for your children's maintenance.

Ideally the courts would like to ensure the children's main home is secure and there are advantages to your children staying put as its less disruptive.

If your wife works part time and has tax credits these should be put towards the household expenses, if not the mortgage.

Others will be able to give more specific advice - but I would just say that the more you and your wife can agree the better. Once things get acrimonious some of your joint assets will be spent on paying solicitors' fees.