My Wife has left me and not sure what to do.

Hi

From my user name you probably have worked out that I’m in the Navy.

Just over 4 weeks ago my wife told me that she wanted to separate and that she does not love me any more. I couldn’t get back straight away as she wanted time.

Since then I’ve been back to see her and she would not entertain the through of us giving it a chance. So I left it at that as I didn't want to push her away anymore.

Since I left in Jan for deployment it seem as if my wife has suddenly found a new life on face book and which she has managed to contact some old friends which is great but its seems as if its changed the way she looks at life. She had told me that she was jealous of her friend and that she had a great life, not surprising as her husband cheated on her even after they tried to work it out.

We did talk about this on the phone and via email and said that we needed to do more together and for her to try and do more when I’m away so life is not like ground hog day for her.

The problem seems to be that we brought a house 5 years ago and since then my wife has not made any friends and every day is like ground hog day for her and we have struggled with money and I spend so much time away with my job.

I know now that we had got stuck in a rut which is all to easy for both of us, me coming home at weekend and just doing what was needed i.e. the house work, DIY and doing stuff with the kids instead of making time for us.

When we chatted there didn’t seem to be anything that we couldn’t sort out if we did it together but she just said no.

I’m now back at work which is away for another month and I’m really struggling to come to terms with what has happened I feel as if I haven’t done enough to try and get her back but I feel if I do I will just push her away even more.

I have written an email but not sure if I should send it, its not me pleading it just says that I think that her new outlook on life is great and that she has final got up and done something about being bored by finding friends and going out in stead of staying in all of the time but it’s a shame that she thinks that she can’t have both

Also that When I came back I had planned to try and work things out and win her back but I didn't want to push her away anymore and that it wasnt that i didn't think that she was worth it

We have 2 lovely children aged 8 and 13 and they both know they seem to understand and we have both told them that we love them and that its note there fault but i went throw this as a child and know how hard it is.

Sailor Si

Hi si,
Im sorry to hear about your situation. Its similar to mine although it was my husband that left and he didnt have me going away to work!
You will find loads of love and support on here wherever and whenever you need it. You sound like you are being strong. Best of luck to you.