Hi from a newbie

Hi everyone,

Having spent the last couple of days roving round the site I thought it was about time I said 'hello' properly.

I am currently contemplating divorcing my husband of 8 years due to his abusive behaviour-always verbal never physically (yet!!) we have a 6yo and a 15 & 16yo from my previous relationship. It is a step I have considered for a long time now but an incident about a month ago was, for me the final straw but due to other circumstances I am unable to split right now-basically my eldest 2 will be taking their GCSEs in June so I'm trying to keep things as 'normal' as they can until the summer.

I haven't spoken to my husband about this but he does know that his actions
a month ago have changed things between us-he hasn't voiced his feelings about this and neither have I because of the upcoming exams.

I have so many questions so I will definatly be around a lot more, I look forward to 'meeting' everyone,

Happy easter to all

Kay

hallo Kay and welcome to wikivorce

My husband left the family home last July to live with his other woman and her two young children.

We had decided (amicably I thought) to split in March, but we had also thought it best for our then 16 yr old son for everything to remain status quo until he'd finished his GCSEs.

In May I found out that husband had another woman (whilst I had carried on stupidly washing his rugby kit, cooking his meals etc). Had to carry on "as normal" until GCSEs were out of the way but it was sheer torture and in retrospect I wish I'd slung him out there and then.

As it happens, children aren't unaware of what's going on though they may choose to pretend not to or to ignore it.

Son got decent GCSEs but not the great grades he was capable of. He thn announced he wasn't going to 6th form and was tired of adults telling him what to do. I think quite a bit of this was anger at his father who was always very critical of him.

He's still not doing much but husband has at last got the message back off, and as he is only popping in twice a week he isn't around constantly to criticise.

Things are much better now, but I did go through 89 months of counselling (about my son as well as my marriage and me) and am still on low dose anti-depressants just to make me feel more optimistic.

Good luck, join us in chat if you fancy a chat - it ranges from silly/trivial to quite deep and philosophical, but you do feel you aren't alone.

Keep posting

NoRegrets xxx

Welcome to Wiki! You have come to the right place. People here are very supportive and really understand the emotions and often the legalities of divorce. Sending you a welcome hug (((((U)))).
Take care of yourself.
x

Hi Kay

Also, welcome here. I'm not long about here either, still fumbling my way around. It looks promising and hope to get more involved in time.

I too was in an abusive relationship, and kept thinking it would be best to keep the kids at home and 'protect' them from the environment that they were in. However, with hindsight, I should have bolted much earlier. It took my youngest, who was four at the time, to say that he didn't want to go back home one day because it made him sad! And there was me thinking I was sheltering them ... nah, give kids much more credit, they know what is going on, they are much more receptive to what is going on. The danger is that they form a mistrust with you because they see you to be colluding with the lie!

Anyway, you know your stock the best, and I am sure you are doing what is best for you ... that's what is reallt important here, what you are doing for yourself.

Good Luck.

thanks for the warm welcomes, it's good to know that there are people I can talk to who understand.
I have so many questions that I really don't know where to begin
Have a good easter weekend everyone
Kay

Hello Kay

We all start the same so many questions, so just ask away i found asking one at a time helped then you can take it all in, dont worry if you think its been asked before just ask and the wiki mob will do thier best to help