and me too....

....Hi, i'm going through this awful, painful, life-wrecking thing called divorce too! My husband of five years and partner of 15 years told me he wanted a divorce two days before our fifth anniversary. His reason is he cannot live with my son (22 years) who actually doesn't live with us anyway!! After fifteen years of my questioning his feelings for my son and him constantly telling me I'd got it wrong, he did love him, my husband has actually admitted he had been lying. So i'm pretty fed up, angry, hurt, etc, etc, etc. Here I am on an absolutely beautiful day (I live by the south coast) in my bedroom on the internet. I don't really have a life outside of my marriage as I've enjoyed being a wife (we had some good times together, but I'm sure he would only ever be truly happy if I didn't have any children and he had me all to himself). I have to go out now and make new single friends... I'm trying and accepting all invites from my work colleagues and family (one brother and sister in law who live 150 miles away). My daughter (20) has been great, but I feel so bad relying on her when she's upset and going through it too (my husband won't talk to her). So i'm looking for inspiration on how to get through these 'normal' feelings.

Hallo and welcome

How to get through the feelings? Well everyone has to choose what they think is best for them.

How I got through after my husband of 18 years (together 31) moved in with a younger woman & her children and left me with two angry teenage boys:

a) emailed the Samaritans
b)cried nonstop for weeks
c) got 9 months of counselling with women's counsellor
d) went on short holiday with younger son
e) saw GP and got anti-depressants (still on them, but low dose)
f) contacted all my old friends and met up with many of them
g) accepted all invitations out - once you've gone to your first party on your own when everyone else is a couple, you've got a bit more confidence
h) joined a film club and a book club
i) read lots of "How to mend a broken heart" and similar books from local library
j) joined this site

other things that helped were

- packing my husband's junk up and moving it into the spare room and then into the garage

- smashing "world's best wife" mug he'd given me into smithereens

- playing Linda Ronstadt singing "you're no good" at top volume and dancing around

- writing a vitriolic letter to him (which I later deleted)

If you want some company, pop into chat on this site and join in. Sometimes its serious but often its light-hearted and fun.

thanks ... I've either thought of, looked into or tried all of those! (apart from smashing the mug, but I have seriously considered damaging some of his things) so i guess it is all normal. (sigh)
We are still living in the same house - he's planning to buy me out - so hopefully I will be able to move out soon and rent something for the time being. I'm really, really hoping I will feel a bit better then, and my brother can visit, and I can invite friends round, etc.
thanks again. I'm going to have a good look on this site now as i think it will help a lot.