a hello

Don't quite know what to put here... recently separated after 15 years together, 3 kids. She just decided she didn't want to be married to me anymore. She tells me its nothing I've done but I dont believe that for a minute.

Thats about it. I am kind of going through this along, apart from my best friend who's a rock, but lives so far away its telephone support. I'm trying to keep busy with it all, but at the moment its all I think about and it drives me mad as to why the hell this happened to me. She tells me that she's having a "hard time" cuz she's moved out on benefits and all that.. but still, at the end of the days she's chosen that life over being with me? I must be a real horrible person to be with? I don't know.

Anyway..typing that gets a little something off my chest I guess.

Hello to all. I think this place make you realise I'm not the only one, despite feeling that way sometimes.

Hallo Bauer and welcome to Wikivorce

You can spend a lot of time agonising over why she did what she did and whether or not you are a horrible person, but you won;t ever get any satisfactory answers.

So dont' give these thoughts space in your head if you can avoid it.

Very often in divorce one person has moved on emotionally long before they share this information with their partner. Its very hard on the one left behind, but things do get better.

Read other people's stories and you will see what I mean. And pop into chat this evening if you are lonely. They are a friendly crowd and very welcoming.

You'll find this site a godsend, it let's you know you're not alone

Welcome but sorry you are here.

I have been on here for 4 months and i stil find it amazing how many of us there are.

My husband decided after 15 years the same thing. I found a brilliant book "i love you but I am not in love with you". It was very helpful when i heard those words.

At first I couldnt get my head round it and to be honest still cant. I have now given up wondering about it now - he is the one with the problem, not me. I was a good wife - not perfect but good. We have three wonderful children and a lovely house but it was not enough. He believed there is this wondeful life that he was missing - the life that 99% of the population live is not good enough.


I hope she is letting you keep in contact with the children. Too many people cannot tell teh difference between their relationship as as couple and their relationship as parents.

Take care of yourself. you dont deserve it but life sucks. you will move on and one day she will realise what she through away. By then it may be too late but she will have to live with it.

Bauer and Starting...

You both have written my story with minor variations..... together we'll come out into the sunshine in time..

thanks - just feeling sentimental over not seeing my kids....

Bauer - it's not anything you did - you were you.... as NRN quite aptly put it -

......'So dont' give these thoughts space in your head if you can avoid it.......'

and I know that it will get better.....just make sure any children are No.1

take care

dd