partner leaving with my 18 month angel

god this is hard, i have been with my partner for 11 years now and have a beautiful little girl. She has decided to leave the relationship, take my girl, then dictate my future.. She is offfering me every other weekend a 1 night every other week, although i want 1 night a week and every other weekend! is this unfair? she thinks so as it is more important the the little one has a stable home with her rather than regular time with daddy.

On top of all this i am now being accused of having mental health issues! i am the first to admit that i am not perfect, but over the last few years if i have had and type of feeling or emotion she has choosen to ignore it or walk away from me! the trouble is the more she blames me for the whole thing the more i believe it... sorry to go on just in some weird type of void right now feeling like my world has ended and yet she still find the time to rub salt in... x

uneasy let me give you some advice on that bit if you can get to your doctor and get certified as soon as possible this comment in a court room and if she convinces cafcass you are in for a nightmare mate

what ever you do from here on in make a record of everything and find a great contact centre near you as ap to have at least two visits done prior to anything happening as if you go to court 90%of dads end up in these places find a nice one and get in there first if you end up in court they will crucify you as a human im telling you that

seany

There is no standard contact arrangement and the basis of good contact for children is parents redefining their relationship and learning to work together. A mediator can work with both parties to help them structure arrangements which will work for everyone concerned.

Background and practicalities are important considerations. For example if you worked full time and your partner didn't work or worked part time to accommodate your D, was the one to take the child to the doctors, health visitors, does the shoe shopping, looked after the child when she was sick etc she will be the main carer and it is generally accepted that particularly with children in the early years, continuity of care is a most important part of a child's sense of security and that disruption is to be avoided. There is no point in someone insisting on shared care if they have never done so much as change a nappy.

Also it is somewhat futile in asking for contact during the week when someone works long hours and regularly doesn't get home from the office until 7 pm or asking for quality time at the weekend every weekend if the other parent works full time.

As far as mental health is concerned it seems thinking the other party is insane is a common feature of divorce. Even when someone has mental health problems it shouldn't be an issue if their parenting is 'good enough' and the children are surviving and thriving.