still thinking...

hi every one,
been with my husband for 7 years, we got married near enough on a dare and ive been paying for it ever since.
he has a terrible temper, which got all to much at some points. i started to pull away from him emotionaly and he made the effort to control his temper, but i was still hurt by how he had behaved. evenntually i felt that i could open my self up to him again when i discovered he was cheating and had been for the last 2 months. when i found out, i thought he would beg for forgivness, but he didnt, he even kept in contact via email with this girl for a while as well as blackening my name to any one that would listen ie his mum. this girl told me he was going to suffer an honor killing, and later tried to set me up by telling my husband that i was trying to plan his murder(i wasnt!), along with a million other things. it eventually stopped when i said i was going to the police.
it has taken me a year and a half to regain my marbles after all that, as i basicly had a break down, i couldnt even look afer my daughter (not his).
he is trying nowadays, and says he made a mistake, but i just cant get over every thing, its just that divorce is so final...

Hi Fakemelons
you have to think what you want and act to protect yourself and your daughter. My ex cheated on me and I went back but to be honest there was no trust any more now she has just left me again but I am in a position to say this time its over. Not the answer you would want no doubt but its the truth, can you really trust him again?
On a positive note you will find people here who can and will help and support you
best of luck

i think youre right, maybe when it all happened, i wouldnt have been in the right frame of mind to split, but i feel so much stronger now.
just in reference to your situation, i was surprised how many women cheated on their husbands when i read through everyones threads, i know its not right to stereo type, but i kind of thought it would be the guys!

well a lot of married guys cheat with married women!

Some people are dishonest and others aren't.

When my husband left I wasn't in a state to do anything. I am much stronger now, but will wait for at least another year so that we don't have to list a load of unreasonable behaviour etc and can just go for the 2 year separation thingy.

Everyday I feel better and get more compliments. Just wish I had had faith that I could cope earlier!

lol!!! i suppose you are right. i also was in no fit state to do anything, i think thats why i stayed, because i couldnt get my brain in gear, with my normal head i never would have stayed with a man that cheated, but i could bearly get out of bed or sleep at night, let alone make long term decisions like seperation - i actually felt like i needed him to support me through coping with his affair! (i am not even a needy person) how long ago did this all happen for you so i know how long i have to wait before i get to where you are?