What a Mess I have made......

Hallo

1. stop beating yourself up, you have only acted in the interests of your marriage and have tried your best

2. your husband clearly hasn't taken any responsibility for your marriage. He says he does things when he is drunk, but getting drunk is a choice. He chose to blame you in counselling instead of taking responsibility.

3. You are scared about coping on your own. Don't be. You have inner strength honestly.

I split up from my husband last year. We had been together for 31 years and I have never lived without other adults. Yes, it was scary. But do you know what? I am sooo much happier now and I know I can deal with things.

I bumped into a friend recently who has been divorced 5 years and says she's never felt happier, despite occasional loneliness. Relying on yourself is certainly better than relying on a lying, cheating ****!

NoRegretsNell wrote:

You are scared about coping on your own. Don't be. You have inner strength honestly.

Noreg. This is so very true. We think we have no more and we dig deep and find some more. We are all strong. Its there deep withing us and at times of need we get it. But at the start its all too much. Every hour feels like a week. And you cant see yrself being alive next month let alone next year. But it time it all unfolds in front of you. You come out of the blackness into the light and things are never as bad as they seem in yr darkest moments. C.

All
Thankyou so so much for your wise words.
I am taking it all on board, and feel slightly better about what lies ahead.
I dont know what, when or how yet, but I think it is the first time that I have actually felt the beggining of confidence returning to me.
(I cant find the right words-apologies)
I will keep on keeping on, and reading my way thru this brilliant site.

Thankyou SO much and will keep you posted.

Lu x

Lu

this is the most fantastic support site I've ever been on - welcome to your new family!!!

dd

(((((Lulu)))))

I'm so sorry for what you're going through,
this site is full of good people with good advice. Please don't beat yourself up over feeling that you love this man...We often confuse love for something else!
Be strong and know that you are worth so much more than him,
Teresa X

All

Again-thanks - I am reading my way through!
It is so difficult but I feel at last, I have reached a kind of safe haven.....you all seem to understand, and I have read many posts now and can see that this splitting up business is possibly, the hardest thing to be faced with.....I am getting stronger,

Brilliant to know this site is here


xxx to all