I'm sorry your in so much pain. I'm not blaming you, because you didn't really cheat on him. You didn't do anything wrong. He's got a problem with his manhood. He's very insecure about his identity as a man.
You can tell when a man reacts violently to another man around his wife that the first man is already enraged from something else. He's got a lot of anger inside.
My husband's first wife cheated on him, but she really cheated on him. He caught them together, pulled out his wallet, gave the other guy a five, and said, "Here, get yourself something better." Then the guy left them alone. I'm not sure what all happened.
That jealousy is control. It's his way of saying he wants you safe, but it's wildly out of proportion. He wants to protect you from other men, but now that he has done that (I don't think the other guy will be seeing you anymore), he doesn't need a divorce.
what he needs is his manhood. See, when a boy reaches adulthood, his father usually gives him a blessing of high esteem and great worth. Your husband is missing the love of his father, and there's nothing you can do to replace it.
Before he can be a responsible husband, he needs the love of a father. Otherwise he'll just keep being a boy. Don't blame yourself. You were crying out for help. You were telling him you need something from him.
Forget that emotional affair garbage. You didn't have an affair. You have to sleep with someone to have an affair. But you just kissed another guy. But you did try to conceal it.
If people got divorces for that, no one would stay married. You opened a way for him to blame you for all his own problems. He loves the fact that you can't forgive yourself, because you'll let him demean you, and he gets off on that.
He wants to have sex with you, and then pay no attention to you, because that will make you feel used and dirty, and he wants you to feel like that. He probably won't quit until he finds his manhood. He's trying to be a man by dominating you, and manipulating you.
Moderator's note - this post has been edited as some of the content breached Forum rules and ettiquete
