Hello

Hi All

Just found your site, what a welcome break from the maze of ads and legal sites that I find confusing.

We have been married for twenty years this year and had our ups and downs. Increasingly my wife became distant, and our marriage became loveless, it started with 'don't buy me flowers' and has ended up with her living a single lifestyle. I keep trying to talk and find out how my wife feels and what she wants, although my wife increasingly became hostile and abusive to me. We have a young daughter (I don't want to be a remote dad) and I maintained hope that we could work to regain our love for each other, that is why I stayed.

My daughter has started to ask questions about us, as a couple, and appears to be showing stress / unease in herself. My last attempt to talk with my wife resulted in her telling me she still has feelings for a man she saw before we met and cant get over him, further she doesn't love me and wants to go out and have fun.

So, I'm good for looking after our daughter and funding her lifestyle. I admire her for her honest this time, and she finished by saying she wants a divorce. It was a shock, but I now am seeking a solicitor to formalise arrangements and look after our daughters welfare as best I can. It feels like I'm going insane. And it hurts too.

Hi there

Welcome to Wikivorce It's very sad when a marriage ends and the next step is almost invariably daunting. We are a very supportive community (so well done for finding us ) and there is a wealth of experience in the people who respond/ post on these boards.

If things get particularly stressful, try blogging how you feel or pop into chat - there is almost always someone on hand (even in the wee hours) who will listen and chat, share their own experience. We also have a resident family law barrister who freely gives her time to a legal surgery twice a week (see the link on community homepage).

Don't feel alone... some of us have even been through it twice

Shezi

Hi

You're not going insane! As Shezi says a lot of us have been through this. It hurts a lot at first, and then you get your head round it, then it hurts less, then you get your head round it some more and you may end up feeling happier than you were when you were 'happily' married.

There is no time period as to how long it takes, just be there for your daughter, and don't forget to look after yourself!

You'll get lots of support and advice here.

Take care

S