am i being too critical?

thank you for that, had - our experiences are very very similar.

Ruby/all

It wasn't meant to be in 'poor taste', just a question....it wasn't meant to vilify disabled people, but hopefully raise a debate, that would explore if the breakdown of a marriage might be influenced by one's/one partner's exasperation of having to deal with the disability on top of everything else. I did not mean to aportion blame for being ill, I know it's not your or your stbx's fault.....

if I have offended, then I apologise to all, unreservedly

dd

one's/one partner's exasperation of having to deal with the disability on top of everything else

not to mention the "exasperation" of being ill with limited mobility, bringing up children, running a house, and coping with a husband who is an alcoholic and threatens to throw himself under a train with alarming regularity.......

Hi Disappointed dad i am a little unclear why u posted this post!

Some information for you - depression is statistically higher in married women than single women but the reverse in men. mmm does that mean being married is actually more detrimental to a woman!!

Lots of factors have an effect in a marriage which some are beyond our control in terms of what life throws at us.

I have a son with a disability which put an immense strain on our marriage and i suppose we each coped with it and continue to cope with it in different ways. i feel this contributed to some extent to our break up. Having said that i believe if two people are totally committed to each other they can try to overcome difficulties. However as the expression goes it takes two to tango but only one to leave the dancefloor.

Certain conditions such as with alcholism (Being no expect but having nursed plenty with the condition) i suppose it mirrors the extremes that some people especially the spouses of have to cope with.

disability is just one factor that has an effect on a marriage as does unemployment and other crucial factors such as the ability to communicate effectively. perhaps what is more important as highlighted with ruby and hadenough is their comes a point where the effect of that condition makes it impossible for spouses to continue in a loving balanced realtionship.

Sorry dd, but i think you chose the wrong topic to debate... my disabiliy was not the cause of my marriage break up... the marriage had run it course and I'd had enough.

I'd had enough.

Hey that's my line

What's that quote "Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds" ... that may be so ... and I stuck with my marriage when others may well have baled out because I stood in a church and promised stuff. However, I think what brought it home to me was listening to the marriage vows when I went to a wedding a year or so ago ... and I realised it was in fact a 2 way deal .. and in my marriage there was only one of us doing it!Looking back I wish I had found the courage to do it years ago ..the children are certainly better off and I know I am.

Hadenoughnow

it all depends on what you would determine as the meaning of the word 'disability'.

having a lazy @ars€hole lying git for a spouse would be in my opinion the biggest disability.

The action, not the person.

zara