Lonely and sad

Hi everyone.

I am going through a difficult time at the moment and can't seem to see through the darkness. I feel alone and sad and wonder why I let myself be walked over and treated badly by a man who swore he loved me yet was sleeping with another woman!

How do I move on and get myself back?
How do I get a social life?
When will I learn to have no feelings for my H?

Any suggestions would be appreciated because I can't do this alone, thanks for reading this.

Awwww Oddsocks

I've been where you are - I really feel for you (((((hugs)))))

You get yourself back by saying to yourself - 'I'm going to win and I'll be fine, it'll get better, I'm the strong one....' It's up to you, but I know that you'll be fine!

Social life - just go out with your friends, join a group or come along to one of the wiki events - there are plenty of other ways to get out and meet others

Feelings - getting over that just takes time..... I still have 'feelings' for my ex, but I realise that it's over, and all I did was to change my mindset and think about my kids as No1 and myself as No1 too - it works!!!!

I can't really tell you how to do it - it's rather like gambling (I'm not a gambler) - accepting the odds and knowing when to accept that the odds are stacked against you and then changing direction

i don't know if this helps, but how can you soar like an eagle when you're tied to a turkey?

dd

Hi oddsocks and welcome to the forum

I haven't been in your situation exactly but this I know...

You don't have to do this alone - there are many here who will hold your hand, guide you, give you free advice and support...

Shezi

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

Sorry you are going through a dark time at the moment.

My husband and I have been separated for 10 months now. It was very difficult at first.

I think that if you are wondering why you let him walk all over you it might be the same reason I did - low self-esteem. If you want people to value and respect you you have to value and respect yourself.

I went to counselling for 9 months once a week. I took anti-depressants. I contacted all my old friends and arranged to meet if I could.

I read self-help books in the library.

I went out and joined a book club and a film club.

I went to a party on my own - it was difficult but I am now comfortable with going places on my own.

I also joined this site and made lots of new friends here too.

Thanks for the support.

This has been going on for so long now it has become the norm...I hate the thought of him with her, how could he lie to me? I really haven't done anything to deserve this

I'm feeling so very sad and frightened of the future. Really feel like I'm going mad.

Oddsocks

Hunny, you'll be fine - it does seem like a bottomless pit, but remember that when you reach rockbottom, the only other way is up!!

Don't torture yourself with thinking about what he has done because like a lot of us here you didn't deserve it, but it happened, and he is the one who has to live with the guilt - remember that what goes round, comes round....

Now to cheer you up - the sun is shining, it's a bank holiday weekend, you're alive, you have the rest of your life in front of you (in fact you've been given a second chance at it - not many people get that!), swine flu hasn't got you, and all the Peeps are here for you...............

((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

dd

thanks DD X X X

You're right, I will try to be positve and look upon this as a new adventure.


If anyone would like to share this adventure with me just shout